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MOTORSPORT /// WRC /// WRC WEDNESDAY /// THE ART OF RALLY, THE ART OF WAR: A LITTLE EARWORM FOR HELSINKI BATTLE & BEYOND, FINLAND 2014 /// 23.7.2014…

If you are attending Helsinki Battle (26 July 2014) or (simply) traveling through Helsinki to get to Jyväskylä for Neste Oil Rally Finland 2014 and do not have this (Oulu-based) Satellite Stories song in your head, we reserve the right to (both) question your cultural appreciation and musical taste.

Happy travels!

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for more information on helsinki battle (26.7.2014)…

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MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// CONSTRUCTORS’ CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS…

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// CONSTRUCTORS’ CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS…  MERCEDES, 366 — RED BULL RACING-RENAULT, 188 —WILLIAMS-MERCEDES, 121 — FERRARI, 116…  [further details at formula1.com]

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS…

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP STANDINGS…  N ROSBERG-DEU (MERCEDES), 190 — L HAMILTON-GBR (MERCEDES), 176 — D RICCIARDO-AUS (RED BULL), 106 — F ALONSO-ESP (FERRARI), 97…  [further details at formula1.com]

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// FINAL…

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// FINAL…  N ROSBERG-DEU (MERCEDES) — V BOTTAS-FIN (WILLIAMS) — L HAMILTON-GBR (MERCEDES) — S VETTEL-DEU (RED BULL)…  [further details at formula1.com]

2014grandprixofgermanycheatsheet

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// UNWANTED COMMENTARY: SHALL WE DO THIS LIVE?

  • Guten Morgen!
  • Willkommen nach Deutschland!
  • It is 6:30ish AM local.
  • It is 1:30ish PM in Germany.
  • And, this is the 2014 Formula 1 Großer Preis Santander von Deutschland!
  • This year, the event swings from Nürburgring to Hockenheim.
  • …So, a little about Hockenheimring…
  • …The circuit is 4.574km (2.842mi) in length.
  • …Shaped like a bootie.
  • …The heeled ankle-high boot, not a big butt, Sir Mix-A-Lot.
  • …There will be 67 laps (today).
  • …Run clockwise.
  • …Which brings the total distance to 306.458km (190.424mi).
  • …After a very hot, 90+ first two days, rain has cooled it down to 74F.
  • …Red Bull’s Vettel won in 2013.
  • …His first home Grand Prix win.
  • …Followed by the Lotus duo of Räikkönen and Grosjean.
  • …However, that was at Nürburgring.
  • …The previous Hockenheim round (2012) had Ferrari’s Alonso on top, flanked by McLaren’s Button and Lotus’ Räikkönen.
  • …Alonso has won the previous two rounds at Hockenheim.
  • A little look at Qualifying…
  • …Well, most drivers are, in fact, qualified to operate a motor vehicle.
  • …Caterham’s Ericsson, however, did not qualify for this round at all.
  • …Ongoing mechanical issues kept him in the garage, before he could run a single lap.
  • …He will be starting (today), but he will be starting from the pitlane.
  • …Mercedes’ Hamilton…
  • …Second in the Championship and coming off a home win at Great Britain…
  • …Lost front braking very suddenly and very violently crashed into a barrier.
  • …Hamilton walked away with nothing more than a few bruises, but gave everyone a bit of a scare with radio silence, followed by a dazed response.
  • …He will be starting 20th.
  • …Sauber’s Gutierrez qualified 14th, but has a three-spot penalty for contact with Maldonado at Silverstone.
  • …Yes, the incident in which the Lotus was knocked on two wheels.
  • …Ahead of the pack were Mercedes’ Rosberg, the Williams duo of Bottas and Massa, and McLaren rookie Magnussen.
  • …Yes, Pole Position for the German dude in the German car.
  • Ready to rock like a hurricane?!
  • Here we go!!!
  • Oh!!!
  • Contact!!!
  • Oh, no!
  • …Magnussen and Massa!!!
  • …And…Ricciardo?
  • …And Massa rolls!!!
  • …Magnussen carries on.
  • …Massa -is- out of the car.
  • …Ricciardo (actually) just missed the hits through quick-thinking evasive action.
  • …Safety Car out.
  • …Wow, another first lap exit for Massa.
  • …On replay, it didn’t look like Magnussen did anything wrong.
  • …He was running on the inside of Turn 1, not so much as a twitch.
  • …Massa appears to have taken an overambitious tight turn.
  • …Right into the Danish rookie.
  • Safety Car back to its lair.
  • Reports of light rain starting on track.
  • Lap 5…
  • …Mercedes’ Rosberg, Williams’ Bottas, Red Bull’s Vettel, Ferrari’s Alonso, and Force India’s The Incredible Hülkenberg lead.
  • …Three of four Germans in the top five.
  • …The fourth, Adrian Sutil, is in a Sauber.
  • …So, enough said, there.
  • Toro Rosso’s Russian rookie Kvyat spins off track.
  • …After a little on-turn wheel-to-wheel with Force India’s Perez.
  • …Literally, a rookie mistake.
  • …You have to watch those wheel-to-wheel turns with Perez.
  • …Kvyat may be one impressive rookie, but Perez rolls with intense aggression.
  • It’s a cluster of Perez, Ricciardo, Räikkönen, and Hamilton.
  • …Battling for seventh.
  • …Coming way too close for comfort a couple times.
  • …Lockups, near contact.
  • …A little contact between Hamilton’s Mercedes and Kimi’s Ferrari.
  • Teams begin calling their drivers into the pits for new tires.
  • How about some more Kimi sammiching?
  • …This time, with Vettel and Alonso.
  • …It did appear there was some contact.
  • …Yes, there was.
  • …From both sides.
  • …Apparently, it’s Touch Kimi Day.
  • …All very inappropriate, guys.
  • …Very inappropriate.
  • …At the very least, every driver who makes contact with that Ferrari better compare their tags.
  • …Preferably, with demonstrations.
  • …Show us on the car where the bad World Champions touched you.
  • At Lap 22…
  • …It’s a celebration of Mercedes power units.
  • …Rosberg, Bottas, and Hamilton lead.
  • Force India sends a few stern warnings to Perez.
  • …He seems to be banking on rain and driving too (mechanically) aggressively for their comfort.
  • …The concern is that he’s blowing through fuel.
  • …Cars have to have a certain level of fuel at the end of the race.
  • …Or, they’ll be disqualified.
  • …So, if the rain doesn’t come, Perez runs the risk of not only running out on track, but not having enough for scrutineering.
  • Grosjean is stopped, pulled off to the side.
  • …After calling in with problems.
  • Problems were to be expected all season with these cars.
  • …But, given the high temperatures and risk of rain on race day, this weekend carried a very high risk.
  • At Lap 30…
  • …Vettel bumps Hamilton for third.
  • …Rosberg and Bottas retain their lead positions.
  • Button and Hamilton make contact.
  • …Sparks and damage for the Mercedes front wing.
  • …Hamilton radioed that he thought Button was going to let him pass.
  • …Button radioed with the reverse and that he was hit on the rear.
  • …So, a pretty straightforward case of mixed messages.
  • …It’s been a World Champion contact fest today.
  • …Button, Hamilton, Räikkönen, Alonso, and Vettel are (all) World Champions.
  • Kimi radios that his right-front tire is shot, that he needs to pit.
  • …Ferrari tells him to stay out for another four laps.
  • …You can feel Kimi’s thoughts from wherever you are.
  • …His helmet is (now) protecting the world from his Nordic face of disagreement.
  • At Lap 39…
  • …Rosberg, Bottas, Hamilton, Alonso, and Vettel are your top five.
  • Hamilton is radioing with continuing front-left issues.
  • …Mercedes has yet to swap out that damaged wing.
  • …This runs the risk of all going very hideously.
  • …See, if the thinking is saving time by not changing it, the wing could continue to drag along that tire.
  • …The options being the potential to slow the car down or, actually blow it.
  • Red Bull radios Vettel to conserve fuel.
  • …Vettel, annoyed, asks them to make up their minds, go faster or save fuel.
  • …Everyone is just out there, bumping into each other, getting angry over the radio.
  • …Good times.
  • Big fire!!!
  • …Kvyat’s Toro Rosso.
  • …That was huge!!!
  • …And, fast!
  • …The thing was burning as the Russian tried to pull it off track safely.
  • …Fortunately, he got out.
  • …Punching the barrier in frustration as he walked away.
  • …This is not the first time we’ve seen this sort of thing from these cars.
  • …This has been the biggest fire thus far, though.
  • …And, yet another mechanical retirement for Kvyat.
  • Sutil spins out.
  • …He’s stalled in the middle of the track.
  • …Which is just lovely.
  • …He calmly radios it in and abandons ship.
  • …Looking both ways before he crosses the street.
  • …Hopping the barrier in one, swift move.
  • …Another crappy end for 99.
  • …A very disappointing home race.
  • …Good god, the marshals are trying to push it off.
  • …No safety car.
  • …Which means cars are (still) flying past.
  • …This is not very German, Germany.
  • …Sauber is reporting that it was a sudden complete loss of power.
  • …Following Lotus’ Twitter report of “mid-race donuts”.
  • …Lotus (still) leads in Tweeting, for the record.
  • …They’ve (still) got their sense of humor, kids.
  • With 10 laps to go…
  • …Rosberg, Bottas, Hamilton, Vettel, and Ricciardo lead.
  • …With Alonso in fifth and (still) very much in the mix.
  • …Just a little note, Maldonado has entered the top 10.
  • …After just having his 2015 seat at Lotus confirmed.
  • …Personally, I am loving that Rosberg/Mercedes and Lotus/Maldonado are beating Silly Season speculation to the punch.
  • …If anyone else would like to play, that would be awesome.
  • …(I hate Silly Season speculation.  All it is, is nosey, Gladys Kravitz gossipy crap.)
  • SLAPS!!!
  • …5 Laps remaining.
  • …With a little light rain starting to fall.
  • Williams radios Bottas with a go ahead to push a bit.
  • …To preserve his second-place position.
  • …Williams is happy with Bottas’ tires.
  • …I do believe Hamilton’s tires are (still) iffy.
  • …But, he’s (still) right on Bottas.
  • …That front left tire has some major striping.
  • Ferrari informs Kimi of the rain.
  • …You can feel the Finn’s eyes narrowing.
  • …Rumor has it, Kimi prefers to be left alone.
  • …He knows what to do.
  • …He does all time.
  • …They don’t have to remind every second.
  • Final lap…
  • Rosberg gets the home win!!!
  • Bottas holds second, takes a third consecutive podium.
  • Hamilton’s tire survives to take him from 20th to third.
  • Next up, the reigning Germany winners…
  • …Vettel takes fourth.
  • …Alonso takes fifth.
  • Williams radios Bottas to congratulate him.
  • …Telling him he beat Mercedes, “…fair and square”.
  • …Bottas nods.
  • …Because, he’s Nordic.
  • …(They can’t hear your nod, Valtteri.)
  • …Williams is reporting that this is the 300th podium for the team.
  • …Scored by a second-year Finnish kid.
  • How did the Germans fare?
  • …Rosberg, of course, won.
  • …Vettel, fourth.
  • …Mr Incredible, seventh.
  • …And, that bizarrely abrupt middle of the track spin and stall retirement for Sutil.
  • How about the German anthem in Germany?
  • …Riding on the highs of domination and that World Cup victory, Mercedes’ mobile lair was outfitted with the words, “Das Beste”.
  • …Nice that worked out for them.
  • …But, I’m (still) waiting for the Austrian accents of Niki Lauda and Toto Wolff to say it.
  • Podium time.
  • …They’re handing out those design contest-winning Santander trophies (again).
  • …A lot of boring slamming of those last time.
  • …So, I will repeat that they are part of a design competition.
  • …As usual, the Nordic chugs the champagne before spraying it.
  • …Rosberg addresses the crowd in German.
  • …Which really is nice.
  • …Well, I think it’s cool.
  • …Very cool for the crowd.
  • …After answering in typically Nordic terms (“we” over “I”), Bottas acknowledges the Finnish flags in the crowd and drops a, “Kiitos suomi”.
  • …Kiitos Valtteri.  Kippis.
  • …Hamilton looks and sounds so disappointed.
  • …After crashing out of Q1, starting 20th, and finishing third.
  • …After that contact with Button that damaged his front wing.
  • …The result of which was ongoing excessive tire wear.
  • …Let’s not do this, Lewis.
  • …No “Lewis Mistreated”.
  • …(Radiohead song, look it up, it’s perfect.)
  • Williams has bumped Ferrari in the Constructors’ Championship.
  • …With Bottas in Drivers’ Championship fifth.
  • …Just six points behind Alonso.
  • …Nine ahead of reigning Champion Vettel.
  • Hey, look!
  • …It’s Ricciardo, looking stoked!
  • …He seems very satisfied with his performance.
  • …Dearest Lewis, take a few notes.
  • …He acknowledges that he can do better, but focuses on that he will do better.
  • …Rolling with whatever comes.
  • …And, he reminds everyone that he’s “A badass” with a lot to prove.
  • …With a huge smile.
  • …Of course.
  • …Lewis, really, look to this guy.
  • Alonso!
  • …Another one who seems pretty satisfied.
  • …Focusing on the positives and that he had a lot of fun.
  • …While noting that they have some things to look at and work on.
  • …And, saying “Ricciardo”.
  • …Which is (always) a pleasure.
  • …Again, Lewis Mistreated, take some notes.
  • …These dudes aren’t slacking, they’re not 100% satisfied, but they’re not moping, either.
  • …And, neither Ricciardo nor Alonso went from 20th to the podium.
  • …Buck up, buttercup.
  • …Take a trip home before Hungary, snuggle your adorable puppies, take a break from social media, and just find your happy.
  • …Then, take it to the track.
  • Vettel seems a bit unhappy.
  • …But, still joking.
  • …Still smiling.
  • …I’m going to take a guess that the disagreement on strategy is what’s really bothering him.
  • …Because, stuff like that just does fester and get to people.
  • …And, it’s the midway point of the season.
  • …Everyone needs a break from this brutal season.
  • …So, how is this different from Hamilton?
  • …Vettel, four-time World Champion, sitting in Drivers’ sixth this season, didn’t look or sound anywhere near as bummed as Hamilton.
  • …And Vettel, though a great performance, a tremendous fight, didn’t have anywhere near the amazing drive Hamilton had.
  • Okay, that is that for Germany.
  • …And, that appears to be it for Hockenheim for a while.
  • …It’s been wonderful.
  • …That was (definitely) an amazing race.
  • …For better or worse.
  • …Insert Rammstein’s “Du Hast” and Milky Chance’s “Stolen Dance” over your clips of choice.
  • …Girl, you -know- it’s true.
  • …We swing back to the Nürburgring next season.
  • …Which will be great.
  • …It (always) is.
  • …Germany is (always) great, no matter where they race.
  • …Danke schoen, darlings; danke schoen.
  • One more race before summer break.
  • …Hungary.
  • …My favorite circuit name.
  • …The Hungaroring.
  • …Which is (always) packed with Finnish fans.
  • …So, it should be a madhouse, given Bottas’ recent surge.
  • …That will be next weekend.
  • …For those who are watching in the US, it will be another NBCSN/CNBC split.
  • …So, be sure to check listings as the week goes on.
  • Before I check out…
  • …A little unnecessary random connection for you.
  • …Boy.
  • …German duo.
  • …”Little Numbers”.
  • …”Seven little numbers…”
  • …Bottas.
  • …77.
  • …”Whoa-oh, whoa-oh”
  • …”All the pretty things that we could be…”
  • …”These numbers could be lucky for you.”
  • Auf Wiedersehen!

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// Q3…

MOTORSPORT /// F1 /// 2014 GRAND PRIX OF GERMANY (18.7.2014 – 20.7.2014) /// Q3…  N ROSBERG-DEU (MERCEDES) — V BOTTAS-FIN (WILLIAMS) — F MASSA-BRA (WILLIAMS) — K MAGNUSSEN-DNK (MCLAREN)…  [further details at formula1.com]

wading through the deeply shallow for token prizes