TRAVEL… stew stories: surprises around every corner…

I know, I’m the worst “blogger” ever because I am way too leisurely.  So leisurely that I should be wearing a Kate Jackson leisure suit–fact.

  Since my last update, I have flown a couple three-day trips and sat a couple of OPR shifts.  Somehow, these trips and OPR shifts have had some of the best flight attendants.  Obviously, I’m not talking about myself.  Remember, I never said I was a good flight attendant, I just am a flight attendant, period.

January 14-16, 2012, I flew a three-day trip taking me to overnight layovers such as Fort Myers and Tampa.  Being a Minnesotan, I was thrilled at the opportunity to temporarily escape the cold!  In your face, Minnesota!  The first day didn’t start off great as it was clear to me I was stuck with three senior ladies who seemed to have no personality.  Inevitably, I was deferred the Flight Leader position, and off we went.  Our first night in RSW was uneventful, but our night in TPA was remarkable!  Two of the ladies and I met up in the lobby for some glasses of wine and relaxing conversation.  One glass turned to two and turned to three and suddenly, I realized that these senior ladies are seriously cool!  They swore, they said naughty things, and they drank like fish.  I recall one of the ladies asking the other for a cigarette in the middle of our conversation, and amidst our laughter we noticed that she had lit up the cigarette in the lobby without thinking.  A security dude started walking by, so quickly she shoved the cigarette in her empty glasses case to put it out, and we frantically waved our hands to rid the area of smoke.  It was like drinking with high school students (which is wrong because they’re underage, of course)!  According to these ladies, midnight was just the start of the evening, and so we moved the “party” to one of their rooms.  I remember going to a vending machine to get a bottle of soda, coming back into the room to find one of the gals changing into her pajamas.  Don’t worry, I only saw the back, but yes, she was braless.  Old ladies like these get loud and rowdy once they’ve been drinking, they also tend to break their $2 flipflops and have the urge to throw them off the balcony.  This I did not know.  Luckily, I convinced her to simply put the flipflops in the dresser drawer and see how long they stay in there.  (The next day, she did not recall this happening, which means her broken flipflops stayed in the dresser and are probably still there considering the lack of cleanliness in that particular hotel.)  I will not tell you how late we stayed up until for my own safety and protection, but I don’t know how these girls were able to do it.  They definitely earned my love and respect.  I haven’t seen such cool older ladies since Mrs. Slocombe.

My next three-day trip lead me to Phoenix and a reschedule to Boston.  My first crew, including myself, were all junior and had been sitting OPR.  One of them happened to be my friend, A.  Our flight and night was short, but our conversations consisted of old lady haircuts, fiber, farting, everything being for babies, being pissed off at our shuttle driver for being extremely late, and pilots being jerks for trying to make fun of our accents.  (Seriously, like their stupid southern accents were any better!)  I am sad to announce that when we arrived at our hotel, I retrieved my bags and found an eight-legged crawly thing on one of my bags.  For those of you who know me, this was traumatizing as I am extremely arachniphobic.  I thought I was going to throw up and die!  Another crew member inspected my bag and assured me it was gone, so all was well, though I still could not sleep that night.

The next day, instead of going home as scheduled, I was “tagged” (rescheduled an addition to my trip) by Scheduling to go to Boston for another short over night.  The Flight Leader and I had flown together before, our flight was half full (or half empty, if you’re that pessimistic), and although our night was short, we all met for dinner and a drink.  For some reason the bartender was extraordinarily nice to me by giving me expensive beers at a cheap price.  I never understand why these things happen, but I’m cheap, so I wasn’t going to argue.  The following day I managed to escape getting tagged and made it home safely, though later on I noticed Scheduling had tried to tag me, but failed.  See, if they don’t send us a message in flight or have an agent or manager meet our flight to give us a message, we’re home free.  Scheduling contacted me too late, which is not my problem!

The rest of my month has consisted of sitting two OPR (On Premise Reserve–we sit at the airport for six hours in case we’re needed at the last-minute) from 17:00 to 23:00.  Each day I was with other junior people who either I know or are friends with, which made the time fly by!  (Ba-dum-bum-ccchhhh!)  You would think we were having a party in the little crew quarters we set up for ourselves at inflight.  I’m sure the managers and other flight attendants in the area weren’t super appreciative of our laughter and loudness, but hey, if we’re sitting there for six hours, we’ve got to make the most of it!  Side note: my phone never has reception in the area to which I am required to sit at for OPR, which seriously sucks, and I would like to sarcastically thank T-Mobile for that.  Jerks.  I sincerely thank Sa, De, Aa, and Da for making OPR such a joy!  I couldn’t have survived without you guys!

Over and out.


2 thoughts on “TRAVEL… stew stories: surprises around every corner…”

    1. So glad you enjoyed it! Have you noticed that once you become a stew it’s so difficult to do any other job?! It’s like they suck you in and it becomes a crazy lifestyle that’s too hard to leave! I took a part-time cashiering job for extra cash my first year of flying and quit after winter was over because I couldn’t take the restrictions and set hours. What’s wrong with us?! :)

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