a l b o s s

a k a   @ a l b o s s   a k a   a l   b o s s

( s p a c k l e   s c u l p t o r )

Computer content fueled by alboss, alboss fueled by coffee
Coffee, computer, character.

It was with a sense of awe and overwhelming feeling of being honored that Al accepted the invitation to join the staff of “Cookies and Gold Stars.” He was also easily swayed by the promise of being paid in cookies, gold, and celestial bodies–though he has no idea where he’ll put the latter.

Al lives in Seattle, a city in the Pacific Northwet (sic). He moved there because he had a bad day. Also because Seattle has strong coffee, good bakeries, an impressive film festival, salt water, mountains, and was as far away from where he’d been that he could get without a passport or a boat.

Seattle sunset from the West Seattle Water Taxi dock
Al also moved to Seattle because the scenery makes him look almost like a photographer.

Al grew up in a place called Grit, where his major accomplishment was not being killed for being so weird, and not being sold by his parents into an apprenticeship teaching mules how to be more stubborn.

The municipality of Grit
Where alboss grew up (artist’s rendering)

His high school guidance counselor told him, “I don’t really care what you do, but whatever it is, don’t go to the University; it’s filled with commonists and free love advocates.” Al filled out the paperwork that night.

Al broke his first computer in three days into his college freshman year, when the campus mainframe declared him dead, and the Registrar’s office insisted he must be deceased because “the computer could not make that kind of mistake”. He swore he’d never touch another computer again as long as he lived.

Al works in IT as a Web developer. Life has a strange sense of humor.

Al has a graduate degree in Pangloss-Voltairian Metaphysico-theologo-cosmolonogology. He is a biological electromagnet for the bizarre. He is classified by the military as a munition due to his deadly propensity for being snide.

Al lives with his long-suffering wife and a son who is the poster child for the Attituditis Foundation. His house is run by two cats.

Family standing in front of an aquarium
No, that’s not a fish growing out of my ear; we were standing in front of a big fish tank.

Al doesn’t have a cool nickname like hitchcockblonde and skipididu. Evidently the word “alboss” is descriptive as well as nominative.

Al thinks writing about himself in the third person is a very strange experience.

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wading through the deeply shallow for token prizes