We have been bringing this Ford World Rally Team preview video (featuring the fine acting and production skills of driver Petter Solberg-NOR, co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR, driver Jari-Matti “Jerry Matt” Latvala-FIN, and co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) up since it graced YouTube with its presence as ADAC Rallye Deutschland 2012 kicked off…
…And, we have no intention of ever stopping.
(You are welcome.)
The transition from Formula 1 star to World Rally Championship competitor was not, exactly, a smooth one for Kimi Räikkönen (FIN). Though the Finn had experience in amateur rallying and a love for the sport, adapting to driving a WRC-class car while relying on a team dynamic to get from Point A to Point B, all under the pressure of watchful eyes around the world and a lack of patience that comes with any previous mastery and competitive nature, was a vicious trial by fire for The Iceman. But, though his time in the WRC may have been short lived, with less than spectacular results to show, one (always) has to remember that the reason numbers never lie is because they never tell the whole story. And, Kimi’s WRC tale had some pretty spectacular chapters.
One of the great stories of Räikkönen’s WRC career was, without a doubt, the one of his first stage win. After a terminated contract with Ferrari (one year into a two-year agreement) left the Finn looking for a total change of direction (in 2009), Citroën Racing saw a promising partnership in the Formula 1 driver and signed him to their Junior team for the 2010 season (partnering some French guys, named Sébastien Ogier and Julien Ingrassia). Though the 12-round (of 13 possible, opting out of the pricy long-haul that is New Zealand) season got off to a rocky start, he (alongside co-driver Kaj Lindström-FIN, in the number 8 Citroën C4 WRC) scored his first WRC points with an eighth-place finish at Jordan (round three), followed by a fifth-place finish at Turkey. However, while posting competitive freshman season results, the Finnish duo had yet to win a stage. Until the final stage of the ninth stop on the calendar. Which just happened to be ADAC Rallye Deutschland. The 4.37km (2.72mi) city street Special Stage 19, Circus Maximus Trier, to be exact. Because, where else would Kimi Räikkönen get his first win (clinching a seventh-place finish), but on a tarmac stage at a rally surrounded by vineyards?
Sometimes, it (really) is just a matter of things clicking in the right place, at the right time, finding your (own) comfort zone and happy place, and always remembering to be yourself, isn’t it?
SS19 /// CIRCUS MAXIMUS TRIER /// 4.37KM (2.72MI)
1 /// K RÄIKKÖNEN – FIN / K LINDSTRÖM – FIN
(CITROËN JUNIOR TEAM)
2 /// M WILSON – GBR / S MARTIN – GBR
(STOBART VK M-SPORT WRT)
3 /// S OGIER – FRA / J INGRASSIA – FRA
(CITROËN JUNIOR TEAM)
4 /// J-M LATVALA – FIN / M ANTTILA – FIN
(BP FORD ABU DHABI WRT)
Stock photos are something one never (really) puts much thought into. They are inserted into articles to emphasize a point, humanize a story, or (simply) draw attention to a piece. In the world of humorist publishing, extraordinarily weird and unfortunate shots are used to to get more laughs, to further the pleasure experienced by reading the written shenanigans. Often, highly effectively. When (in August of 2013) masters of silliness and shots, The Onion, needed a photograph of a stockbroker-type, around “…40 years old and…as much as 180 pounds”, engaging with a dolphin in a questionable manner (easily taken out of context and left to the imagination), they turned to their nameless, faceless, harmless photo archives, and pulled up this little gem:
Hey, we know that guy!
Yes, that would be a photo of our favorite porcelain doll of the World Rally Championship, Jari-Matti “Jerry Matt” “Jer-Bear” Latvala (FIN/Volkswagen Motorsport), taken just prior to Rally Australia 2011 (while he was with Ford Abu Dhabi World Rally Team). When he was 26. Not 40. And, definitely, not a stockbroker. Shock and disbelief do not begin to summarize our response to catching this little nugget. Nor does it capture the dumbfounded responses of those we conferred with (after they had realized that it was not something we had created, an easy conclusion to jump to), just to make sure we had not (actually) taken crazy pills. This was a photo we had seen, from a series of shots we were familiar with. And, here we were, staring at it in an article on The Onion. Jerry Matt. Hugging a dolphin. A look of pure bliss on his face. With the headline, Dolphin Spends Amazing Vacation Swimming With Stockbroker, just above.
File that under things you never expect to see. The use of the photo, that is. We are more than familiar with the effect Jerry Matt has on dolphins.
Congratulations to Jer-bear on becoming the “Holy shit, what the fuck is that guy doing to that dolphin?” weird archive photo used by ‘The Onion’ guy. It is (certainly) a unique conversation piece and strange claim to fame (like he really needs one). That said, it may be time for everyone to step away from the internet for a bit and enjoy the WRC summer break.
Oh, and, by the way, Jer-Bear would go onto score second-place at Rally Australia (in 2011). And, if the dolphin (really) wanted to ride him (as stated in the article), she could have just interrupted his chatter and “asked”. The big Finn appears to be pretty good with aquatic piggyback rides.
Of all the weird, wonderful, and weirdly wonderful videos Finnish driver Mikko Hirvonen and (equally Finnish) co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen have unleashed on the world, this may just be their ultimate work. Unlike the beautifully bizarre Citroën-era promotional pieces they put together (in 2012), this video is semi-raw footage, shot entirely by the duo (themselves). No fancy production equipment, no camera operators. Just Mike and Jim, exploring the area surrounding Ford World Rally Team’s 2011 Rally Italia Sardegna Pre-Event Tests, armed with a video camera (of some sort). And, as to be expected, testing the patience and nerves of those around them. If you are single, they will hook you up. If you are hooked up (or, hooking up), they have a private place for all your romantic needs. Have you found a lizard in the love shack? They can take care of that, too. From Angry Birds addiction to single-finger responses to surprises in cakes and everything in-between, this little video has it all. So, do yourself a favor and take eight-ish minutes to realize just how inferior your day was (up until you watched this video, which was, originally, posted on Hirvonen’s official Facebook page and so very available for viewing there). Because, as you will discover, it was. But, Mike and Jim can fix that. They like to help. Helping is their favorite.
Oh, by the way, the silly Finnish duo took a serious second at Rally Italia Sardegna 2011. They would win it the following season. The lesson: never forget to have fun, kids. And, never, ever underestimate the power of ridiculousness, as it may just be a part of a greater methodical madness. Or, they are just remembering to have fun. Either way, never forget the romance. Or, whatever.
Mike and Jim Go to Portugal. The second silly travelogue/World Rally Championship event promotional video made by (then) Citroën Total World Rally Team’s Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) and (co-driver) Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) stays true to the cinematic tradition demonstrating the feeling of great escape dives into the unknown in the most literal sense. In the style of “The Bewitchin’ Pool” episode of The Twilight Zone, the toilet plunge of Trainspotting, and the SCUBA demonstration from The Graduate, but not (really), the video is a seafaring adventure, following Hirvonen as he makes his way from Rally Guanajuato México to Vodafone Rally de Portugal. Via the most difficult means possible, of course. While not the craziest or silliest of the 2012 video series, it is a key piece to the puzzle of its (total, or, should we get all punny and say “Total”?) madness, introducing one very important theme which will stick through the entirety of the season and give a little insight into their team dynamic (and their sense of humor about it): Lehtinen will (always*) be ahead of the game. Even when wearing manpris (capris for guys, one of the most confusing/terrifying Eurocentric articles of men’s clothing known to American women – even the ones living for the dream of being swept off their feet by something with one of them there fancy foreign accents).
Unfortunately, the duo would become synonymous with the 2012 round of Rally de Portugal for reasons other than this video. Though the pair would navigate the washed-out non-roads of the event (the ones remaining, after safety-based stage cancellations) with careful precision, demonstrating just how important the practice of “slow and steady wins the race” can be, their victory would be short lived. Non-homologous parts would be found in their DS3 (by Scrutineering), disqualifying their perfect run from the rally. The win would go to privateer Mads Østberg (NOR) and Jonas Andersson (SWE), who were left unable to (properly) relish their first WRC victory. (Also) left in the cold wake of the disqualification that was the final podium were M-Sport driver Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Denis Giraudet-FRA), who achieved his highest finish to that point, and Ford WRT’s Petter Solberg (NOR) and Chris Patterson (GBR), who had fought their way back from what appeared to be devastating retirement (earlier in the rally). But, while the end result may have left a bad taste in the mouths of, well, everyone, it is (always) worth mentioning that the records (only) tell half the story. Numbers never lie, because they never tell the whole story. And, the story of the 2012 Vodafone Rally de Portugal podium (before and after the disqualification) was one of drivers at their very best. That was rally. And, that is how driving is done.
The first time we attempted World Rally Championship commentary was during Wales Rally GB 2011 (via Twitter). Which Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/Miikka Anttila-FIN/Ford WRC) won. The first rally we wrote full daily commentary for was Rally Sweden 2012. Which Latvala and Anttila won. To date, the last event we completed full commentary for (on time) was Wales Rally GB 2012. Which Latvala and Anttila won. The only preview we completed (promptly) in 2013 was Acropolis Rally. Which Latvala and Anttila won (now, with Volkswagen Motorsport). And, the first preview we completed (punctually) since then was Rally Sweden 2014. Now, remind us who won that one. For a third time. Ah, yes…
So, what does all this mean?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. It is nothing more than coincidence, the random overlapping of equal inevitabilities: great performances by the experienced and talented Jerry Matt and Minni’s Dad, and us, doing our job as we are supposed to. But, that doesn’t mean that we haven’t enjoyed these fan-type-thing superstition-friendly moments. We have. And, to demonstrate just how much we are enjoying these two, leading the WRC for the first time (in over a decade of WRC competition), we would like to share a little song (loosely applicable in content, but very appropriate in title). Because, while we cannot predict the future and this season is (only) two events in, what we do know is that if something is done once, it can be done again. Which leaves one very important question:
How you like them now?
(Oh, and, yes, while we usually list the top four, how cool is it to see Bryan Bouffier-FRA and Xavier Panseri-FRA in fifth? Almost as cool as seeing them in second, after Rallye Monte-Carlo, eh?)
And, as lifelong enthusiasts of California hockey…
…a fist-bump to you, Jer-Bear.
(Yes, as always, life points to anyone who caught the Slap Shot reference.)
To all those who soil their precious, little panties in fear of hitting 30, just remember that Sébastien Loeb (FRA) appears to be just getting started. At age 40. From winning gold in his first go at rallycross at the 2012 Summer X Games to smashing records in his first time on Pikes Peak (in 2013) to venturing into that great unknown that is leisure time with his family and friends, it is clear that there is a whole, wide world just waiting to be explored (if not conquered) by the nine-time World Rally Champion. And that he is (most definitely) up for the challenge.
Happy birthday, Mr Loeb!!!
(However old it is you are, exactly, in Sébastien Loeb years.)
Remember that time Finnish driver Mikko Hirvonen and his equally Finnish co-driver, Jarmo Lehtinen, chose wisely? Okay, the notoriously reliable M-Sport duo tends to choose wisely most of the time. Well, when competing in the World Rally Championship (at least). But, there was one non-rally moment that truly stands out as a prime example of high-quality decision making.
It was back in 2011, when the cute coworker couple (who were leading Ford World Rally Team at that time) took full advantage of their trip to Jordan Rally and made their way to the ancient city of Petra to show just how much more fun blondes can have (there). And, like any good boy or girl who grew up, absorbing the Indiana Jones movies, spending hours outside in the name of adventure and artifact-seeking (because, the treasure-hunting was all down to The Goonies, obviously), and dressing up as Indy (or, Indy’s little sister, complete with real whip…oh, not that anyone at Cookies & Gold Stars knows anything about such humiliating childhood silliness) for Halloween, Hirvonen soundtracked their excursion with the theme song. As he gravitated toward Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade-inspired souvenir stands.
While some might look down upon such behavior as shameful stereotypical tourist shenanigans, we say go for it. How often does a person (actually) get to go to Petra? You might as well maximize your experience and enjoy it. And, seriously, like there is any other way that song is going to get out of your head. It’s a vicious earworm that can shoot straight to Biohazard 4 when incubated in the right environment. Plus, ultimately, their adventure made for one very entertaining video. Which spreads happiness. Choose wisely and eternal fond memories will be yours. Choose poorly, and shrivel away to dust as your soul disintegrates with repression-based regret. Or, something like that.
…for more information on mikko hirvonen & jarmo lehtinen…
mikko hirvonen official site / mikko hirvonen on facebook
Okay. Think back to 2012. Rallye Monte-Carlo, to be specific. Remember when Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN) and Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila (FIN) sacrificed season-opener glory for (what they perceived to be) a prime parking spot? If there were prizes for ‘Best Parking Job’ or ‘Most Imaginative’, they (totally) would have won. Unfortunately, those honors do not exist and (thanks to Monte-Carlo’s anti-second chance policy) the (then) Ford World Rally Team leaders were banished from the remainder of the rally. But, come on, just try to tell us that you are not impressed by this parking job:
(Would you accept some cookies and gold stars? We failed to give any out in 2013. Please, take as many as you want.)
So I started off with the idea that this would be called “The Ghost of Belgium’s (Rallying) Past”, but on the weekend Duval and Loix both fronted up for a blast in the Belgium Rally Championship and both were having a decent go and battling for the lead before typical JCW Mini WRC issues struck and forced Duval out of the event. Loix went on to win the event by a good 3 minutes, being cocky enough that at the last stage and leading by 3min 30sec that he let his co-driver take the wheel for the final stage, dropping a respectable 30 seconds over the 14 or so kilometers.
So, onto the point of this thing; Belgium drivers have always shown talent and potential in the WRC
Loix and Duval have always had the speed and talent to be top line WRC drivers, and for a number of years Duval was both Ford and Citroen’s great next big thing, I mean both teams saw it, they saw the speed and the potential there, Duval still has it, but he fell victim to what is becoming common place in the WRC these days, young kids having to mature in front line WRC cars in works teams. Duval did actually win a WRC round back in 2005 in a works Citroen (Rally Australia for those of you playing at home, also the year Colin McRae showed what a Skoda could actually do when driven on the limit and Loeb hit a small tree.)
Fast Freddy on the other hand had some moderate success in the 90’s with second placings for Toyota in the TTE days with a second place in Portugal in 1997 and again in Spain in 1998. Both drivers have always had the speed to run at the front, but be it bad luck, bad management or a need for speed that just could not be controlled, they both have vanished from the WRC and are but a memory to team managers, though Duval is in talks to have a run at Rally Germany in a Citroen. Mikko must be shitting his pants really, Sordo and Duval on tarmac, sorry Mikko, you’re about number 3 on the list of Citroen drivers for this round.
So back to the topic; waffles and Thierry Neuville. Now a delicious plate of Belgium Waffles has never let anyone down, Loix and especially Duval have, well they let me down, not going on to fulfill their WRC potential. Thierry Neuville, take note, listen to me, lean from history. You’ve won two of the most challenging ex-WRC events when you were in the IRC (Sanremo and Corsica both in 2011), you have talent, apart from your error in Portugal this year, and the tricky spot on the Monte that has caught you two years running (thank goodness they are relocating next year), you’ve shown the maturity required to make it in the WRC. Learn from Duval, go have a coffee with him and share a plate of waffles, bring Loix along, you did beat him in the IRC after all. Take your time, show speed when required, keep getting those podiums and you’ll make it.
Besides, at the end of the day, your glasses are way cooler than Jerry Matt’s, I don’t care what Hitchcock Blonde says about them being trendy and having to match your watch, you’re hip, you’re cool, you’re fast, you’re mature, you’re living the dream, don’t screw it up and for what it’s worth; don’t let me down, I’ve been singing you praise all year, you owe me one come Rally Australia, waffles are on me, I’ll make sure the Coffee Club at Park Beach Plaza is ready for us.
2 0 1 3 R A L L Y A R G E N T I N A
[ 1 M A Y 2 0 1 3 – 4 M A Y 2 0 1 3 ]
Welcome back to America, World Rally Championship! The South American subcontinent, to be more exact. And, Argentina to be specific. Yes, it is that time (again). Rally Argentina! Which will be Philips LED Rally Argentina this year, actually. But, roses do tend to smell as sweet, even when you call them Al. So, shall we just count William Shakespeare and Paul Simon out of this race and get to the real, surreal, and ethereal competitors who will be making an appearance and all the fun they will face over the four-day rally? Rally Argentina: (now) in New Pope flavour!…
[ w h o w i l l b e t h e r e ? ]
Well, as is often the case for the lone South American WRC event, the entry list is a short one. Rally Argentina falls under the ‘long haul’ category, skyrocketing the investments of time, money, and effort in a sport which (already) requires insane amounts of time, money, and effort. Therefore, it is an event for the most privileged of competitors.
There will be no surprises in this round for Qatar M-Sport WRT, who will be sending in Mads Østberg (NOR/Jonas Andersson-SWE) and Evgeny Novikov (RUS/Ilka “Major” Minor-AUT). The pocket Viking (currently) stands in fourth in the Drivers’ Championship while his sexy-times Russian partner in M-Sport crimes stands in 10th. Sticking to their anti-formula, Qatar M-Sport’s counterpart, Qatar WRT, will be changing up their army (once again). While Thierry Neuville (BEL/Nicolas Gilsoul-BEL) will continue to lead the attack on the Manufacturers’ Championship for Qatar, his teammate (this round) will be Gabriel Pozzo (ARG/Daniel Stillo-ARG), who will not be eligible for Manufacturers points. Neuville sits in seventh place (in the Drivers’ Championship), and while this will be Pozzo’s first event of the 2013 season, he will be the only local manning a WRC car. So, there.
Once again, as they did while gathering trophies and points at Rally de Portugal, Volkswagen will be sending out three cars. Scooting around for Volkswagen Motorsport will be the (seemingly) unstoppable Sébastien Ogier (FRA/Julien Ingrassia-FRA) and the (always) unpredictable Herra Sata Lasissa, himself, Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN). Ogier (currently) owns the Drivers’ Championship, with a ridiculous 54-point lead to cosy-up his first-place home, while Latvala sits in fifth, a mere one point behind Østberg. Recall that the Nordic wonders took their battle for third all the way to the very end in 2012, so this should come as little surprise. Piloting the lone Polo R WRC for Volkswagen Motorsport II will be Andreas “I pillaged Ireland with a smile” Mikkelsen (NOR/Mikko Markkula-FIN). Which works out well, as the division was created just for him. After participating in one event in 2013 (Portugal), the Norse god to the ladies stands in 14th in the Drivers’ Championship and first in the hearts if giggly girl fans of the WRC.
Citroën. Citroën, Citroën, Citroën. Well, as everyone and their mother knows (by now), the most French of all WRC teams will be sending in the big guns for this round. Piloting the DS3s for Citroën Total Abu Dhabi WRT will be their 2012 Rally Argentina winner, Sébastien Loeb (FRA/Daniel Elena-MCO), and runner-up, Mikko “Mike” Hirvonen (FIN/Jarmo “Jim” Lehtinen-FIN). After a full four events, Hirvonen is hanging out in second (in the Drivers’ Championship), while Loeb, after two events, remains just five points behind (in third). Once again, Dani Sordo (ESP/Carlos del Barrio-ESP) will be shifting over to the Abu Dhabi Citroën Total WRT pull-out sofa while Loeb is in town. Sordo, adjusting to his new team and ride, goes into Argentina in a competitive sixth (in the Drivers’ Championship).
Rounding out the Manufacturers’ Championship competitors will be the lovely MINI of LOTOS Team WRC pilot Michal Kosciuszko (POL/Maciej Szczepaniak-POL) and independent woman Fiona the Fiesta, who will be escorted by Martin Prokop (CZE/Michal Ernst-CZE) of Jipocar Czech National Team. As the Davids head into Argentina, Kosciuszko sits in Drivers’ Championship 21st as Prokop looks to break his tie for eighth (with Qatar WRT pilot Nasser Al-Attiyah (QAT/Giovanni Bernacchini-ITA)). Both teams lead in ‘Z’ use.
Not listed on the entry list or noted as a Manufacturers’ Championship competitor is that tarantula who took 28th and won the eight-legged class at Rally Argentina 2012. But, it would be a surprise if it failed to show up and take whatever points and places it wants. Because, it is a ginormous spider. With a mere one glance with one eye, it can put everyone in their place and remind the likes of Loeb and Østberg that they are (only) one move away from waking up in a web.
[ w h o w i l l n o t b e t h e r e ? ]
This may come as a surprise, but…Ford WRT will not be there. Because, they no longer exist. So, why mention it? Because, after Petter Solberg (NOR/Chris Patterson-GBR) clawed his way back to sixth up from a troubled run, Ford celebrated 150 consecutive points finishes at Rally Argentina 2012. On a related note, there will be no Solbergs (of either the Petter or Henning) variety at this round. Which just goes to show how much can change in one year. Also absent from this round will be Qatar M-Sport’s Juho Hänninen (FIN/Tomi Tuominen-FIN), who sits in 12th, Qatar WRT’s Nasser Al-Attiyah (QAT/Giovanni Bernacchini-ITA), whose absence should end the tie for eighth with Prokop, and Abu Dhabi Citroën Total’s Khalid Al-Qassimi (ARE/Scott Martin-GBR), whose two points at Portugal have put him in 20th in the Drivers’ Championship. Fortunately for everyone, the cursed #3 Ford Fiesta of 2012 will not be making an appearance, either. Word has it, the car was (actually) disintegrated by the Spanish eyes of Sordo after crapping out just before crossing the finish line for a podium place. Hence, the alleviation of Chronic Retirement Syndrome for Jerry Matt from Acropolis on. (In case anyone was wondering how that worked. Oh, you are so very welcome.)
[ n o w t h a t w e k n o w w h o w i l l b e t h e r e , w h a t w i l l r u n t h e m o f f t h e r o a d ? ]
Breaking into song. And, nasty earworm infestations. Of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical variety. That is what will run most drivers off the road at Rally Argentina. It is just a fact of the rally.
The major threat of Rally Argentina is its geography. Known for lengthy stages and even lengthier liaison distances (notice that there are only 14 stages over four days of competition), this rally drags cars through a variety of challenges. From rocky climbs through narrow mountain passes asphyxiating engines to slippery silty straights to those famous (if not infamous) water splashes, it is a marathon of both man and machine. And, just to make things more interesting, it is Autumn in Argentina. And, that could mean anything from blinding sun and heat to whiteout conditions in the cold. As the elevation increases, so does the risk of ice. And, after the disaster that was the iced-over Col de Turini of Rallye Monte-Carlo, there should be no reason to count the worst case scenario out. Because, well, that is just how the universe works.
So, what else will run teams off the road at Rally Argentina? Argentina. That’s what.
No, really. This is Dakar territory. To every driver with Dakar dreams, running these long stretches risks the potential to become a pig with a taste for blood. It would come as no surprise to hear that a driver just sped off into the mesmerizing scenery, only to be heard from (again) in the context of the next Dakar entry list. And, should that ever occur, we wish them the best of luck and cannot wait to cover them (there). Until then, just remember: Argentina is not Italy…
On a related note of concern, Argentina is (also) paradise for those who love and live for the outdoors. Home to Cerra Aconcagua, the highest peak outside the Himalaya, and Patagonia, and just a hop, skip, and a jump away from (neighbouring) Chile’s Atacama Desert, the central location of Córdoba puts outside adventure addicted drivers at a high flight risk. And, even if they make it through the rally, teams need to attach shock collars to their drivers and co-drivers just to make sure they do not wander off into the mountains, only to reappear with, say, a broken collar bone, and benched for another rally or more.
Also worth noting is the proximity to the Pan-American Highway, the motorway system that connects North and South America, from Chile all the way to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. A route which just happens to start (from south to north) in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Afflicted by a love of California and armed with a fancy ‘Mur’kin nickname, this could mean internal combustion for Jerry Matt, with the siren song of the open (tolled) road calling him as he battles to continue to prove himself with Volkswagen. (Jerry Matt – should you opt to run away, drop us a line; we have a friend who just happens to be road tripping her way through Colombia right now who is not single – sorry, but does speak Spanish and would love to enable this behaviour).
Other dangers associated with simply being in Argentina include overindulging in steak (as Homer Simpson would say, “Can’t talk; eating.”; just add driving to the mix), being carried away (King Kong-style) by insects the size of grizzly bears, being taken hostage by militant Tango dancers, being abducted by aliens (it’s a hot spot, you know), and being attacked by a werewolf known as el lobizon. El lobizon not only has the ability to rip a man to shreds in a flash, they have been known to pose as rally drivers. Beware of El Loebizon.
Another risk, which seems to be limited to Finnish rally drivers and co-drivers named Jari-Matti Latvala and Miikka Anttila, is that of being pulled over by rifle-happy Argentinian police officers who will order you out of your vehicle and hold you at gun point. Fortunately, Finns Mike and Jim acknowledged this danger and released a very helpful public service announcement ahead of Rally Argentina 2012.
Though the issue at hand is that of road dangers, it must be noted that there has been a recent threat to the local community since teams began arriving in Argentina. Viking pillaging. Over the weekend before the event, a group of neo-Vikings raided a golf course, plundering clubs and clothes, and waging terror on the passively competitive, repressed rage pseudo-serene atmosphere of the course. So, if anyone happens to see these men, please alert the most inappropriate of authorities so that they can poo themselves at gunpoint as soon as possible:
[ a n y s u p e r f l u o u s t h o u g h t s , a n a l y s i s , o t h e r w i s e u n w a n t e d c o m m e n t a r y ? ]
Okay, (now) let us look at some far less serious matters. What can we expect from Rally Argentina in 2013? Honestly? Who knows? With so many changes in teams and team lineups, 2013 remains anyone’s game. The season is not even at the midway point and a lot can change in the span of a season. Especially, when so many drivers are just starting to settle into new positions and new cars. And, as there have been so many signs of improving confidence from everyone, Argentina, with all its length in time and distance and all its varying conditions, could provide an interesting show. This could be the game changer. It (certainly) was for Citroën and Volkswagen in 2012.
The 2012 round of Rally Argentina became a notable marker for Citroën. In the aftermath of the Portugal 2012 nightmare in which so many drivers fell victim to the mud of the washed-out event, Loeb included, and its winner, Hirvonen, was excluded upon finding non-homologous parts, the French manufacturer made the controversial call heard ’round the world when they ordered their drivers to hold their positions. Up to that point, Loeb and Hirvonen had been engaged in a battle for first. The war was stealing the show as everyone was (finally) getting the opportunity to witness the pair at full-force and see just how powerful the team (really) was. Then, with one day to go, it stopped. Loeb, the reigning champion and team leader was given first, while Hirvonen, the new guy, was instructed to stay on the road and guard his (significant) lead for points. Was it the right choice? Technically, yes. It was a safe way to get back on track and maintain their lead in the Manufacturers’ race. But, it was pretty clear than even Citroën was left with a bad taste in their mouths. And, unfortunately, it would set a tone for the season, with Hirvonen continuing to play bridesmaid to Loeb’s repeat bride, rally after rally.
But, that was 2012. This is 2013. And, things have changed at Citroën. Loeb is in semi-retirement from the WRC, contending in (only) four rallies this season. Unless the remainder of the season becomes a free-for-all, with everyone landing everywhere (which is a possibility, given the unclear picture of potential at this time), Loeb is not a contender for the Drivers’ Championship and only a minor part of the Manufacturers’ race. The focus needs to be on Hirvonen and Sordo. Which leaves a few questions. If Rally Argentina 2013 were to present a repeat 1-2 situation, would Citroën let their drivers loose to see where their potential takes them? Or, would Loeb, being reliable Loeb, in what may be his final Rally Argentina, be given priority protection? The truth is that no one will know unless the issue arises. So, the more important question lies in the performance of Hirvonen, who has been struggling to find his happy place this season. Will he be able to break out of his rut of reliability and push himself this round, especially with Loeb present? The same can go for Sordo, whose return to Citroën has been less than smooth, bouncing between team divisions, contingent upon which rallies Loeb is taking part in. An issue which should ease up after Argentina, when the French leader is expected to go on extended leave before his (intended) final appearance at Rallye de France-Alsace. Sordo is going into Argentina armed not only with a strong desire to get back up to his most competitive best, but with a bit of revenge on his plate. After filling in for Jerry Matt (last year, after the Finn rolled the Nordic out of Nordic skiing), the Spaniard was locked into a third-place finish when the #3 Ford Fiesta died with the finish line in sight. Now, if Sordo can harness an Inigo Montoya-like taste for vengeance to compliment the natural talent he showed in 2012 (driving an unfamiliar car on short notice through a demanding rally and holding third to the end takes impressive to new levels), he could be a very real challenger for first. Just because Citroën is not dominating as they did right out of the gates in 2012, it does not mean that anyone should look away from the guys in red and white for a second.
Another team that put on an amazing show at Argentina in 2012 was Volkswagen. Yes. Volkswagen. This may be the team’s first season in the Polo R WRC, but this is not their first dance around the maypole. Last year, Ogier and Mikkelsen, armed with four-door Škoda Fabia S2000s (maintaining momentum as they developed the Polo), pushed their way past the WRCs and engaged in their own battle. For fourth. Yes. Fourth. All the way to the end, when the little cars started wearing down, with Mikkelsen retiring with an exhausted suspension (after Stage 15 – of 19) and Ogier, unable to fight off the hungry WRC cars of climbers Petter Solberg (who landed in sixth), Neuville (fifth), and Prokop (fourth), but able to hold onto seventh and bring points home to work into their 2013 formula. Volkswagen has come a long way since showing off just how capable they are in even underpowered cars. The German team (now) goes into Argentina with a 14-point lead in the Manufacturers’ Championship and with their fearless French flyer, Ogier, leading the Drivers’ race by 54 points. As was noted (earlier). But, worth repeating. As it is a 54-point lead. By a guy who was driving an S2000 in a partial schedule while developing a car and team with Volkswagen. At this point, there is no question as to just how good Ogier is. It will be he other two all eyes will be locked on. Partly because they are known for their prettiness. But, even more so for their potential. Will this be the event when Jerry Matt gets it all right and returns to fighting for first? Like Sordo, though significantly less Spanish, Latvala will be returning with a bit of revenge on his mind, having missed the 2012 event after breaking himself. If anyone has the motivation to prove their competitive capabilities, it is Herra Sata Lasissa. He has the talent, he has the speed, he has the car, and (now) all he has to do is stop trying to pound the pieces into place and start fitting them together naturally. Also bursting with so much talent that many ladies would recommend he take his shirt…maybe trousers…off to release is the lone Norseman of the team. Will this be the rally through which Mikkelsen realises his full potential in a WRC-class car? Who knows? There is (really) only one way to find out. What is evident is that Volkswagen not only have the power to contend for first, they have a team that has the potential to sweep a podium. Not only that, they have the potential to do it in their first year in the Polo. And, it could happen any time.
So, how about Qatar and Qatar M-Sport? Well, this is a (relatively) young collective, in both time as a team and in the age of their full-schedule drivers. Until this season, M-Sport was a support team to Ford, focusing on young driver development, rather than podium glory and Championship races. But, when Ford WRT pulled out of the WRC, M-Sport stepped up and (immediately) upped their game, retaining Novikov and recruiting Østberg while joining forces with Qatar, who ended their alliance with Citroën, but kept Neuville on board. The result is a collection of up-and-comers (all) with podiums under their belts and signs of growth with every race. They have youth, they have enthusiasm, they have talent, and they have yet to develop nasty habits that are hard to break. However, the downside to this is that they remain a bit unstable. Though Østberg seems to have a grip on himself and his surroundings and has graduated to serious competitor, Novikov and Neuville (still) remain notorious for crashing, with Novikov crashing more, but having a knack for willing his car on, and Neuville running as more of a threat, but having more of a knack for crashing into retirement. So, how the Qatar/Qatar M-Sport crew will do at Argentina is anyone’s guess. But, one thing is sure: these kids are not to be underestimated.
Remember when the theme song to Gilligan’s Island included the line “…and the rest”, with “the rest” being all of The Professor and Mary-Ann? No? Well, it did. And, here is your rundown on “the rest” of the Manufacturers’ challengers: Kosciuszko does not appear to be much of a threat at this time, while Prokop is. Ta-da! Oh, you would like some elaboration? Okay. LOTOS has a MINI. MINIs are known for having issues beyond issues. A small team with a troubled car is going to have a rough time. However, no car is cuter than the MINI and these teams are (always) worth watching. Because, you just never know where they will go after learning so much the hard way. As for Prokop…did we mention that he came in fourth (at Argentina) last year. Not to blow anyone’s mind with numbers, but fourth is just below third. Third is a podium place. Prokop is in eighth place in the Drivers’ Championship (at the moment), the season is young, and (aside from the insane lead of Ogier) the numbers are quite close, with plenty of room to move. (Also) recall that not only is the team small, they lost their last Fiona in a fire at Germany in 2012. That is a lot to bounce back from, both financially and technically. Yet, Prokop has forged ahead, getting to know New Fiona very well, very quickly, and using everything he learns with every event as he goes. Count Prokop in as a threat at the top. Not only does he have the talent to compete, he has a knack for not even so much as tripping when others start falling. Slow and steady can win races. Now, turn that speed up. That is Martin Prokop.
And that is what to look forward to (or, shield your eyes from) at Philips LED Rally Argentina 2013. Unlike the 2012 event, this round follows a Rally de Portugal that did not scare the sense of adventure out of everyone. This, alone, will make 2013 a completely different animal from 2013. One of those animals so often found in the wilds of South America, just waiting to be discovered. And there will be a lot to discover as teams hit the roads, with so many of them pushing their cars through the Argentinian torture test for the first time as they set out to prove themselves in a season of so many changes. The competition will be as fierce as the giant insects, just waiting to grab cars off the road, and, as always, the scenery will be as pretty as a postcard. Welcome back to the wilds of the Americas, WRC. The door is open and the snacks are ready.
Oh, and, remember, kids, when in Latin America, the frosted breakfast cereal is known as Zucaritas. Should you refer to them as “Frosties” or “Frosted Flakes”, when the box (clearly) reads “Zucaritas”, you may find yourself shamed by a more detail-oriented amateur comedian from Monaco. Kids, do not let this happen to you:
. . . . . . .
2 0 1 3 P H I L I P S L E D R A L L Y A R G E N T I N A
WEDNESDAY /// 1 MAY /// 10.63KM
qualifying stage /// 4.59km
special stage 1 /// super especial 1 /// 6.04km
THURSDAY /// 2 MAY /// 157.94KM
special stage 2 /// santa catalina/la pampa 1 /// 27.09km
special stage 3 /// ascochinga/agua de ora 1 /// 51.88km
special stage 4 /// santa catalina/la pampa 2 /// 27.09km
special stage 5 /// ascochinga/agua de ora 2 /// 51.88km
FRIDAY /// 3 MAY /// 165.74KM
special stage 6 /// santa rosa – villa del dique 1 /// 40.69km
special stage 7 /// amboy – yacanto 1 /// 39.16km
special stage 8 /// santa rosa – villa de dique 2 /// 40.69km
special stage 9 /// amboy – yacanto 2 /// 39.16km
special stage 10 /// super especial 2 /// 6.04km
SATURDAY /// 4 MAY /// 77.92KM
special stage 11 /// mina clavero/giulio cesare 1 /// 22.64km
special stage 12 /// el condor – copina /// 16.32km
special stage 13 /// mina clavero/giulio cesare 1 /// 22.64km
special stage 14 /// power stage el condor /// 16.32km
TOTALS
14 competitive stages
407.64 competitive kilometres
1576.79 total kilometres
. . . . . . .
for more information on the 2013 philips led rally argentina (1.5.2013-4.5.2013)…
philips led rally argentina official site / philips led rally argentina on wrc.com
philips led rally argentina on facebook / philips led rally argentina on twitter
…and, a few team resources…
citroën wrt official site / citroën wrt on facebook
citroën wrt on twitter / citroën wrt on youtube
volkswagen motorsport official site / volkswagen motorsport on facebook
volkswagen motorsport on twitter / volkswagen motorsport on youtube
volkswagen rally the world / volkswagen rally the world on facebook
volkswagen rally the world on twitter / volkswagen rally the world on instagram
qatar m-sport wrt official site / qatar m-sport wrt on facebook
qatar m-sport wrt on twitter / qatar m-sport wrt on youtube
qatar m-sport wrt on instagram
-hitchcockblonde
The man that was voted as most desired to be seen in the British and Finnish versions of Playgirl, is this year pretty much on par with Inessa Tushkanova.
As much as everyone loves Jerry Matt, especially the ladies it seems, he hasn’t been performing as his hype would suggest.
So, time for a little bit of history on the how’s and why’s of why Latvala is just another underachieving Finn in the WRC. Once upon a time, in a WRC far, far away there was a breed if Finnish drivers who seriously kicked ass (can I say that Ed?), think back to the 70’s, the 80’s and even still into the 90’s and 00’s Finn’s were are at the forefront of the WRC. Around the early 00’s a new breed was emerging onto the scene, look, I am not expert in the Finnish education system, if such a thing still exists, or if they made it harder to obtain a high school education, but since this time, Finland has produced nothing but over hyped, car destroying, whinging, sooky drivers.
Our friend Jerry Matt, or if you prefer the Finnish; Jari-Matti, has year after year failed to deliver on the promises of his speed and Finnishness, and more often than not, he has indeed failed to finish. One of my theories, based on historical data, and excluding a 9 times world champion, would prove something clearly obvious, without a doubt, but that’s for my next blog.
So simply put, Latvala doesn’t have the goods, before he blamed the Ford Fiesta and prior to that the Focus, now he has the best car out there and is being beaten well and truly (not Mosley style) by a superbug, flu riddled Seb Ogier. This is the make or break year, like when McRae signed for Citroen, this is it, next year may see Jari-Matti driving a works Hyundai (will they be the Skoda of 2014?)
Ok, and one more thing, Latvala had new specs for Portugal, sure he missed the rocks, or did he? Trying too hard on the final day to hold off his ex-teammate, he broke the car, again. Jerry Matt, you’ll never outdo Neuville in the fashionable specs race!
So Vodafone Rally de Portugal is just about to start and Mikko believes he’s still in the title hunt; Oh the mind boggles with that kid.
Whom I am backing, well, I don’t think we’ll see too much difference from Mexico really, similar terrain and all, some of it will come down to luck.
Ogier thanked whomever sent the super bug that is wiping out half of North America to him in that sealed FedEx box (possibly from Ford HQ?) in the pre-rally press conference.
It’s open again, Ogier will be up there, it’s just who will run second and third and is down to the luck of the draw, who avoids rocks and if it rains.
Dani Sordo has good form, I’d like to see him up there, super nice guy. Jerry Matt will try too hard and break something, he has a lot to prove now, and not much time to do it in. Neuville, he will keep it clean, Novikov, well we all know he rolls at some stage during every rally, and Mads, not sure, maybe he will get lucky again.
Welcome to the WRC Mr Mikkelsen, Volkswagen appreciates you and will finally enjoy seeing two cars finish. Hyundai is excited to see your form before they offer Jerry Matt a contract at a bargain basement career saving price.
At the end of the day, you look at Ogier last year in an S2000 car and he was beating half the WRC cars running, kid is talented and no one will match him this year.
In 2012, we were inspired to dedicate a very special birthday greeting to World Rally Championship driver Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) after catching “Jari-Matti Latvala looking awkward” pop up under search terms used to find our site. In 2013, we have decided to make celebrating Herra Latvala’s birthday with awkward photos an annual tradition. Think of it like a classic birthday spanking, without the touching. So, you know, more Nordic. Which (as we all know) is just better.
The past year has been an interesting one for the big Finn. The rough start to his 2012 season went from bad (having crashed out of Rallye Monte-Carlo, Rally Guanajuato México, and Rally de Portugal) to worse – worse beyond belief, in fact – while cross-country skiing a familiar route near his family home in Finnish Lapland. During an otherwise typical run, his skis got caught up on some debris (left behind in the wake of strong winds) on his final descent, sending him head over free heels (after this accident, we were asked how this is even possible, leading us to believe that an unnervingly few people have ever seen Nordic skis, fewer have used them, even fewer have taken them off flat, perfectly groomed trails, and only Latvala and our editor-in-chief have ever tanked it whilst cross-country skiing), and breaking his left collarbone in the tumble. Yes, he rolled the Nordic right out of Nordic skiing. And, sadly, himself right out of Rally Argentina. What started out as a tough year became a disaster in the blink of an eye. However, this is Jari-Matti Latvala. Our Jerry Matt. The guy Cookies & Gold Stars likes so much, we gave him a ‘Mur’kinized nickname. And, Jerry Matt bounces back.
And, bounce back, he did.
Armed with time spent seeing the forest for the trees, Jerry Matt returned to competition in time for Acropolis Rally and, promptly, took a spot on the podium (third). He (also) took third at Neste Oil Rally Finland, second at Rallye Deutschland and Rally de España, won Wales Rally GB, and clawed his way back up to third in the 2012 Drivers’ Championship. Pretty good for a guy who was ruled out early on and missed an event due to serious injury, eh? Well, it would be, if he were not Jerry Matt. But, he is. And, this is just how Jerry Matt rolls. When he’s not rolling down hills, of course. (Hey, it happens. With imbalance comes balance, people. Science!)
Unfortunately, despite the personal and professional success of turning lemons into limoncello, the 2012 season ended on a bittersweet note for Mr Sata Lasissa. Ford World Rally Team, the organisation Jerry Matt had spent his career with, announced they would not be competing in the WRC after the 2012 season, leaving their drivers to find new homes. Tough news to take when a person has been with a team since their teens, making them more like family – and the situation more like a breakup. Though he had a contract waiting for him with Volkswagen Motorsport, ready to make their WRC debut competitive right out of the gates, change is hard. And, it was clear that Jerry Matt was not taking it well, appearing distant in video updates, earning him the nickname Sad, Sad Jerry Matt at Cookies & Gold Stars, and causing us to avoid these updates (we like the guy – a lot – and, quite honestly, couldn’t stand seeing him so sad). To make matters worse, his first round of testing with Volkswagen (in Mexico) ended in a road crash with a civilian car. But, hey, who hasn’t crashed a small Volkswagen in Mexico? Everyone was okay – and he got past that first crash hump in a new car right off the bat, right?
Well, yes. However, the struggles would continue as the 2013 WRC season got underway. Severe weather in Monte-Carlo took his Polo R WRC out in an icy spin while yet another stupid rock would end his run before it even (really) began at Mexico. But, between those accidents was Rally Sweden. Through which the 2012 winner was engaged in a fierce battle to the very end for third. Though he would end the event in fourth, it was a more than impressive showing from the guy with a new team and in a new car. Contrary to what one might take away from all of all his typically Nordic (if you are not the winner, you are the loser/you can always do more and better), dark side-dwelling comments on his performance through the rally. So, with a whole season ahead of him, it is safe to say that 2013 is going to be an exciting adventure for Herra Sata Lasissa and all who follow his drives. Remember, this is Jerry Matt. And, Jerry Matt bounces back.
But, reviewing the past year in the WRC life of Jerry Matt is not why we are here. We are here for no-touch birthday spankings! Women want him, men want to be him, and we (being a website, which, technically, has no anatomical parts to distinguish sex) just love his awkward oddness. He’s big, he’s pasty, he keeps to himself, he talks a lot (and with his hands), and there is something delightfully nerdy about him. He’s weird. We like it. And, here are seven of our favourite awkward photos from the past year (why seven? because we do things in threes and sevens – cookies and gold stars to everyone who has noticed – plus, Señor Jerry Matt just happens to be driving the #7 car this season):
…And, god forbid we leave these out…
…And, that, folks, is how you win over Cookies & Gold Stars.
Happy Birthday to you – and your secret mind, Poopiekins!!!
. . . . . . .
For more information on Jari-Matti Latvala, Miikka Anttila, and Latvala Motorsport…
jari-matti latvala official site / jari-matti latvala on facebook
jari-matti latvala on youtube / jari-matti latvala on twitter
latvala motorsport official site
. . . . . . .
For more information on Volkswagen Motorsport…
volkswagen motorsport official site / volkswagen motorsport on facebook
volkswagen motorsport on twitter / volkswagen motorsport on youtube
volkswagen rally the world / volkswagen rally the world on facebook
volkswagen rally the world on twitter / volkswagen rally the world on instagram
[ 7 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 3 – 1 0 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 3 ]
Like that Captain & Tennille song (yes…that one), we just knew that (platonic) love would keep The Petter and Poopiekins Jerry Matt together!!!
Just look at how happy Petter Solberg (NOR) is! And, how anxious Sébastien Ogier (FRA/Volkswagen Motorsport) is to evacuate the scene and leave the other two alone to catch up. Or, more specifically, how eager he is to abandon Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/Volkswagen Motorsport) and leave him in the snuggly hands of The Petter. Jerry Matt just looks uncomfortable as always. But, note that it is his arm around The Petter this time. Not the other way around (as it usually is – hence, “The Petter”). They missed each other. And, though the dissolution of Ford World Rally Team (after the 2012 World Rally Championship season) may have separated these two (former) teammates, Rally Sweden 2013 has brought them (back) together. What a precious moment!
Now, who did we bet that The Petter would find Jerry Matt? Because, though Jerry Matt wound up seeking out The Petter (at his local workshop), it is the thought that counts. And, they were (definitely) thinking of one another.
Aaawww – isn’t it bromantic?
. . . . . . .
for more information on the 2013 rally sweden (7.2.2013-10.2.2013)…
rally sweden official site / rally sweden on wrc.com
rally sweden on facebook / rally sweden on twitter
…for more information on volkswagen motorsport…
volkswagen motorsport official site / volkswagen motorsport on facebook
volkswagen motorsport on twitter / volkswagen motorsport on youtube
volkswagen rally the world / volkswagen rally the world on facebook
volkswagen rally the world on twitter / volkswagen rally the world on instagram
…for more information on jari-matti latvala…
jari-matti latvala official site / jari-matti latvala on facebook
jari-matti latvala on twitter / jari-matti latvala on youtube
latvala motorsport official site
…for more information on petter solberg…
petter solberg official site / petter solberg on facebook
petter solberg on twitter / petter solberg on youtube
…for more information on sébastien ogier…
sébastien ogier official site / sébastien ogier on facebook
sébastien ogier on twitter / sébastien ogier on youtube
-hitchcockblonde
2 0 1 3 R A L L Y E M O N T E – C A R L O
[ 1 5 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 3 – 2 0 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 3 ]
That was a nice, little video which emerged as the clock ticked down to the start of Rallye Monte-Carlo 2013. A few World Rally Championship drivers, sharing their thoughts as they embarked upon recce, in preparation for the season opener. See, kids? Thinking is cool. You can tell Ilka Minor (AUT/driver Evgeny Novikov-RUS) thinks so. And, kids, remember: slush and ice are slippery. Just ask (driver) Mike Hirvonen (FIN) and (co-driver) Jim Lehtinen (FIN). Now, shall we see if Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN) can resist the super-awesome parking spots we just know he has been eyeing (during recce), stay in the rally, and keep that (too often missing, as of late) smile on his face?
(We bet he can.)
Rallye Monte-Carlo kicks off with Shakedown on Tuesday, 15 January. Word has it that snow is in the air. But, how much will fall and how it will affect driving conditions, the world will just have to wait and see. Event officials have vetoed restarts (once again), so this classic opener to the 2013 season could get very interesting, indeed.
Now…kids, remember: thinking is cool. Cool as ice. But, not. Because, ice is dangerous.
Got it?
Cool.
. . . . . . .
For more information on the 2013 Rallye Monte-Carlo (15.1.2013-20.1.2013):
rallye monte-carlo official site / rallye monte-carlo on wrc.com
-hitchcockblonde
As the holiday season came around in 2012, new Volkswagen Motorsport acquisition Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN) shared two video updates with the universe. The first one was a holiday greeting, made obvious by the Finn, standing in front of very (typically) Nordic-looking Christmas tree, but made less obvious by the lengthy status update, leaving the greeting as a bit of an afterthought. Which was fine, as the video featured a flash of bandaging and an ‘all-clear’ thumbs up to the completion of his recovery (after rolling the Nordic out of Nordic skiing resulted in a broken left collarbone early last Spring). Very good, very important news. All wrapped up in comically chatty packaging.
One element did fall a bit short of comical, however. Jerry Matt has seemed a little sad since signing with Volkswagen. Regular-ish readers may recall the label Sick, Sad Jerry Matt, used to describe the first video shared after announcing the move. He was not only (obviously) in a less-than-stellar state, we just happened to be under the weather at the time. He was Sick, Sad Jerry Matt. It was a rough video to watch. But, easily written off as a bad day. Change is hard and being sick is never a good time. To be slammed with both at once – during a rally – is a lot of weight to handle. Especially, if one carries that weight on an extended journey. See, though Jerry Matt was chatty enough through his holiday greeting, something seemed off. Now, this could (easily) be the result of having just had the last of his corrective hardware removed. Of course. Plus, he has been going (almost) non-stop since the end of the 2012 World Rally Championship season, testing in Mexico, crashing in Mexico, picking up his third-place trophy at the 2012 FIA prom night, heading to Monte-Carlo to unveil the VW Polo R WRC the next day, testing here, testing there, spinning right ’round, baby, right ’round; like a record, baby; right ’round, ’round ’round. At that point, one has to assume there is a lot of exhaustion of both the mental and physical varieties. So, just as was the case in the Sick, Sad Jerry Matt video, it was easy to attribute the absence of life in his eyes to his (temporarily) being a bit lifeless.
But, then came the Happy New Year 2013 video. Okay, so, it appears they were shot either in the same day (or, very close – the clothes are a bit of a giveaway – either the same day or a current favourite). Which would mean that the same circumstances would apply. However, something about it raised a red flag. Is Jerry Matt OK? He seems to start out alright. And, end alright. But, something happens in the middle, when he addresses his new drive and his new team. The eye contact disappears, he begins to look like he is thinking (rather than, you know, just thinking)…it is all a bit of a mess. And, to be honest, we are a bit concerned. Now, we are going to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and blame this on exhaustion, surgery, the holiday season, and being a tad awkward by nature. But, we cannot help but wonder if our little Poopiekins is having a bit of a quarter-ish (hey, we cannot see the future) life crisis. The move from Ford to Volkswagen is a major change in the life of Jerry Matt. A statement which can be made with no risk of exaggeration. He had spent his entire (professional) career in the Ford system. And, that career began when he was a teenager. A kid. Now, at 27, the team he had grown up with was leaving the WRC. His rally family, gone. Going to Volkswagen was not a choice based on money or thrill seeking. It was made out of necessity, the preservation of all he had worked for in rally. And that? That is rough. Though he will (probably) get into the swing of things once the season commences, Jerry Matt is in the midst of a major adjustment period. And, it is not going to be an easy one.
Though Jerry Matt may have a ride for the 2013 season, and a prestigious (manufacturer) one at that, it is not going to be a smooth ride. First of all, though Volkswagen spent 2012 perfecting the Polo R WRC, 2013 will be real-world testing, seeing how it performs on real stages in real rallies and working out the details as they go. Secondly, after spending a year in the leadership position at Ford, he will be playing backup dancer to VW lead Sébastien Ogier (FRA/Julien Ingrassia-FRA), who put his own career on hold in order to develop the Polo, keeping a foot in the door by running a Škoda Fabia S2000 through the 2012 WRC season. In 2013, it will be a safe bet that (although Jerry Matt will be piloting the lead car and, word has it VW is not appointing a leader), should the two engage in a close battle, positions will be held, with Jerry Matt directed to hold back for the greater good of the team (much like Citroën did in 2012, sacrificing new hire Mikko Hirvonen-FIN/Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN for team leader Sébastien Loeb-FRA/Daniel Elena-MCO), scratching the back of Ogier after he scratched theirs for so long. And, that prospect has got to be a tough pill to swallow for an experienced driver who has just taken third in the Drivers’ Championship. The third factor will be that, above all, this is a new driver in a new car with a new team. There is an adjustment period in that situation, acclimatizing to surroundings, making the car their own, getting used to how this car performs under these conditions rather than how that car performs under those conditions, and so on. Basically, Jerry Matt has a new job. And, as everyone in the modern, working world knows, no matter how great it all turns out, starting a new job (really) sucks.
So, if Jerry Matt appears a little sad, distant, reserved, or whatever other less-than-shiny-happy emotions may have clouded over the life in his eyes, it just may be because his life took a sudden detour and there is a lot going on behind those eyes. Like anyone in a position of upheaval (like so many people his age, like so many people of any age), he is allowed periods of mourning and adjustment. If he seems a bit sad, he may just be. And, that is okay. Though we feel bad that he feels bad, we are 100% sure that, like he did after his crashtastic start in 2012, he will bounce back. Rally is a sport of constant change, of micro-adjustments, of comebacks, of corrections. It is a sport of career-long learning, of learning lessons the hardest way possible and using those lessons to push boundaries to new limits. Jerry Matt has dedicated his life to this sport and his passion for it will spring him back from whatever may be getting him down. Watch out, WRC. Change is in the air.
Oh, and, if Jerry Matt fails to perk up, have no fear. Being a German automotive group, Volkswagen will just send in Frau Helga to correct the situation. She was an East German Olympic swimmer, you know. Perk up, Poopiekins. We are (only) moderately afraid to humiliate ourselves just try to make you laugh hard enough to wet yourself. The prospect of noogies has come up. It would require the terror of international travel, the horror of human interaction, a total loss of dignity, a running start, and a tackle. Which would (ultimately) end in a face plant and/or an arrest and a lifetime ban from all WRC events.
(Smile!)
. . . . . . .
For more information on Jari-Matti Latvala, Miikka Anttila, and Latvala Motorsport…
jari-matti latvala official site / jari-matti latvala on facebook
jari-matti latvala on youtube / jari-matti latvala on twitter
latvala motorsport official site
. . . . . . .
For more information on Volkswagen Motorsport…
volkswagen motorsport official site / volkswagen motorsport on facebook
volkswagen motorsport on twitter / volkswagen motorsport on youtube
volkswagen rally the world / volkswagen rally the world on facebook
volkswagen rally the world on twitter / volkswagen rally the world on instagram
-hitchcockblonde
Just hours after collecting a third-place trophy at the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile Prize Giving Gala for the Driver’s Championship, World Rally Championship driver Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN), alongside co-driver Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila (FIN), was in Monaco. Why on earth would anyone do that to themselves? In this case, the self-abuse was for the unveiling of the Volkswagen Polo R WRC. Looking as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as one might expect someone who had just celebrated with Formula 1 driver Kimi Räikkönen (FIN/Lotus) at an awards ceremony in Istanbul, not Constantinople, Turkey may appear, Jerry Matt dragged himself to the event, made some great faces whilst interviews were conducted in French, and posed for some unfortunate photographs in the heart of Monte-Carlo.
Unfortunate?
A bit, yes. Let us explain.
The unveiling of the Polo R WRC was treated with all the promotional theatrics warranted by the anticipation which had been brewing through the 2012 WRC season. There were low-key ‘before’ photographs, featuring the 2013 Volkswagen Motorsport team, rolling matchy-matchy, wearing dark jeans, white (assumed to be) VW oxfords, and team jackets, standing next to a neutral, blue, grey, and white Polo. Then, there were ‘after’ photos. Which is where things got a little awkward.
When the Polo R WRC was revealed on the ceremonial ramp of the (upcoming) 2013 Rallye Monte-Carlo, the WRC world not only got a look at the livery of the Polo, they got a look at the sponsors who came with it. The big one being…Red Bull. Oh, yes. When Citroën unveiled their 2013 livery, celebrating their new partnership with Abu Dhabi – in Abu Dhabi (weird, eh?) – one, glaring omission was evident: the ever-prominent Red Bull decals. Now, this absence could be attributed to a new alliance. Or, because Red Bull Media House would be taking over WRC promotion in 2013, this absence could be attributed to a more logical, more fair scenario in (shockingly affiliated) Red Bull, pulling out of (individual) team backing, altogether. Which would have been very exciting, as the Red Bull logo is splashed all over so many sports these days, that the world is facing a whole new environmental danger in drowning in Red Bullshit. But, after the Polo R WRC unveiling, it became quite obvious that bells would continue ringing for wings. However, this was not the unfortunate aspect of the reveal.
The unfortunate element of the presentation came in the form of team photos. In one photo (featured above), flanking the Polo were (driver) Andreas Mikkelsen (NOR), (co-driver) Mikko Markkula (FIN), and (co-driver) Julien Ingrassia (FRA) on the co-driver’s side, and (driver) Sébastien Ogier (FRA), Anttila, and Jerry Matt on the driver’s side, all wearing their VW/Red Bull racing overalls. Except Jerry Matt and Anttila. Who stood out like cold, Finnish thumbs in blank, bright white overalls (the result of various, innocent, understandable possibilities, rather than a reflection of importance, surely). With Ogier, looking annoyed next to them. To say this was awkward would be a gross understatement. Because, two of these things were not like the others, and two of these things were just attained through long, teary, reluctant negotiations at the very end of the 2012 season.
Though these are only photographs and videos, mere selective glimpses into the workings of the 2013 Volkswagen WRC team, one has to feel the tiniest bit of concern for the dynamic. From the time an offer was placed on the table, there has been talk of the potential for explosive trouble between Ogier and Jerry Matt. Speculation fueled by Ogier, sounding off on his desire for Volkswagen to hire Dani Sordo (ESP/co-driver Carlos del Barrio-ESP), and supported by so many less-than-enthusiastic snapshots of Ogier whilst in the presence of Jerry Matt or discussing the 2013 situation. Which has not been helped by Jerry Matt, who has been struggling to build up excitement in the wake of leaving the team (the now defunct Ford WRT) he has spent his career (which began in his teens) with. But, again, these are only glimpses at the full picture. They could as easily be something, a fracture in what could be a very powerful VW machine, as they could be nothing, the work of a drama-hungry media. But, should there be any truth to the speculation, should the actions be speaking louder than words, trouble could be lying ahead for Volkswagen Motorsport.
As for our take? We choose to believe that Jerry Matt is just a bit of a socially awkward loner (this is a top reason why we like him so much, in case anyone wanted to know what it takes to get more coverage from us – a quirky personality, folks) and that Ogier is just as protective of the team he put his WRC success on hold for (to help build) as he should be. And, that the Volkswagen Motorsport WRC team is more than experienced, talented, dedicated, and professional enough to get past any little bump in the road they may come come across. But, in the end, only time will tell. They have a long, stressful year of perfecting a brand, spankin’ new Polo R WRC ahead of them. So, the world might as well just kick back and enjoy the ridiculously unfortunate photos as they come in.
Oh, and as for the Polo R WRC? The adorable, little VW appears ready for action. Here is a preview:
. . . . . . .
For more information on Volkswagen Motorsport…
volkswagen motorsport official site / volkswagen motorsport on facebook
volkswagen motorsport on twitter / volkswagen motorsport on youtube
volkswagen rally the world / volkswagen rally the world on facebook
volkswagen rally the world on twitter / volkswagen rally the world on instagram
-hitchcockblonde
The Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA, the overlord of most international motorsport organizations) hosted their annual Prize Giving Gala night on 7 December 2012, honouring the best in driving over the past year and capturing some eyebrow-raising photographs through the night. As night fell on the Turkish metropolis of Istanbul – not Constantinople (now, it is Istanbul; the reason being the business of nobody but the Turks) – and drinks began to flow, it was obvious that it was prom night in the Eurasian port town. And, if you ask any deeply shallow, typical all-American teenage girl, she will screech the confirmation that, no, there is NOTHING more important than prom night. NOTHING.
OHMYGOD!!!
So, as with any solid prom night, there were honours far more important than the ones being awarded that night. Because, not everyone can be the (ohmygodsohottt) prom king and queen. But, everyone can come away with something, whether it be drinking everyone under the table, pity scoring with that awkward classmate, or just looking super awesome, there are (always) a couple extra cookies and gold stars to go around.
Looking super awesome? Oh, attendees (certainly) were. (O – M – G) Starting with World Rally Championship driver Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) and his co-driver, Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN), who may have come in second in the WRC Drivers’ and Co-Drivers’ Championships, but (clearly) took ‘Cutest Couple’ honours that night. A win made possibly by fostering an adorable hetero life partnership, but clenched by enthusiastic smiling and one (charmingly) crooked bow tie.
…Aaawww…sweetums!!!
Obviously, Hirvonen took ‘Most Awesomest Tie’ of the night, whilst Lehtinen scored a nod for helping to make this dream come true for the (ohmygod, so adorbs) driver.
…Cool beans!!!
After a brutal battle in the Johnny Cash-off, it was Citroën Total World Rally Team co-driver of the year, Daniel Elena (MCO) who took the honour of Johnny Cash-iest that night. A distinction which had to have filled the black void of having just lost that ‘Cutest Couple’ honour (with WRC driver of the 2012, Sébastien Loeb-FRA) to teammates Hirvonen and Lehtinen earlier that evening.
…Burnin’. Thing. Ohmygod. Happy panda!
Losing the Johnny Cash-off to Elena may have been a blow to (Formula 1 driver) Kimi Räikkönen (FIN). But, it was nothing a few drinks and a couple honours of his own could not remedy. The Lotus pilot not only came away with the best hat hair of the evening (a feat made possible only by wearing the most formal of trucker caps prior to the event and rocking enough confidence to not even care enough to so much as glance at a mirror at any point), he nabbed the most important award of the night. One look at the body language amongst Räikkönen and his fellow Finns, extreme parking enthusiasts, Juho Hänninen (Intercontinental Rally Challenge/Škoda, 2012; WRC/Qatar 2013) and Jerry Matt Latvala (WRC/Ford, 2012; Volkswagen, 2013), says it all: courtesy of foggy brains and lifetimes of repression, Kimi and Jerry Matt (in spite of all his proactive cock-blocking efforts) are never going to remember this evening. But, Hänninen might. That said, congratulations to Juho Hänninen on winning two, shiny, new BFFs!
…Ohmygod! Score!!!
Who else came away with honours that night? Well, Loeb came away with ‘Most French’…
…O – M – G! Oui! Yays!!!
Thanks to being a Spanish Spaniard from Spaintastic España, F1 runner-up Fernando Alonso (ESP/Ferrari) took ‘Most Spanish’…
…Whilst his girlfriend, Dasha Kapustina (RUS) took ‘Most Impossibly Impossible’…
…(Bitch.) HUGS!!!
And, F1 driver of 2012 Sebastian Vettel (GER/Red Bull) not only won ‘Most German’, he had the honour of presenting Red Bull Racing team principal Christian Horner (GBR) with an award for arriving with clothes on.
…Because, this can happen…
…Ew. Grotty.
There you have it. FIA Prom Night 2012. And, what a beautiful night it was. In Istanbul. Not Constantinople.
(…Ohmygod, stop asking! it’s none of your beeswax!!!!!!!)
Oh, and, as for Jerry Matt and Kimi? We are 97% sure that biology (not to mention, the work of humourist fiction) are on their side. But, in the case of that three percent, congratulations (to the pair) in 2013! The world needs more blondes – and Finns!
…CUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!! Weird. But, CUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!
Cookies and gold stars to everyone! We hope you enjoyed the bonuses of They Might Be Giants references and having the token prizes handed out with sub-commentary in the style of a deeply shallow, typical all-American teenage girl.
. . . . . . .
For more information on the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile…
. . . . . . .
Editorial note: A reminder-I do not (actually) carry cookies or gold stars with me. I am working under the assumption that none of us will ever cross paths.
-hitchcockblonde
According to Dutch legend, Saint Nicholas handles the ‘nice’ list, whilst pawning the ‘naughty’ list off on his peon, Black Peter (Zwarte Piet). Yes. Go figure. Anyway… To celebrate the holiday season, the end of the 2012 World Rally Championship season, and the (fast approaching) beginning of the 2013 season, Cookies & Gold Stars opened up a bag of nice. And, as we honoured who and what we felt made the 2012 season so incredible, you had to know that we had a whole bag of naughty to match. And, what a heavy bag it was! But, after many vicious rounds of gladiator-type battles and a lot of violent discarding, we managed to pare the list of eyebrow-raising moments down to one (highly amusing) highlight for each of the 13 events. Most of which, we (selectively and grossly) misinterpreted for even more amusement. It is hard work. But, someone has to do it. Well, not really. We are the most unnecessary, shamelessly biased, non-source in the WRC. But, whatever. Bygones. The WRC has been naughty this season. VERY naughty. Cookies & Gold Stars naughty. Take it away, Black Peter!
…And the cookies and gold stars go to (the naughty list)…
R A L L Y E M O N T E – C A R L O
[ 1 7 J A N U A R Y – 2 2 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 2 ]
Jerry Matt ditches his Monte-Carlo bid for an awesome parking spot
Ooohhh, Jerry Matt. Jerry Matt, Jerry Matt, Jerry Matt. When it comes to rally, the passion Ford World Rally Team leader Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN) has for the sport is difficult to beat. But, his passion for rally has nothing on his passion for finding a great parking spot. Apparently. Whilst speeding through the fourth stage of Rallye Monte-Carlo, the opener of the 2012 World Rally Championship season, something caught the Finn’s eye maneuvering his #3 Ford Fiesta around a corner. While most drivers would have proceeded with a bit of caution, focusing on getting around the shaded turn, Jerry Matt looked beyond the icy bend, put his foot down, and gunned it toward opportunity. And, while this decision may have cost Jerry Matt his early lead (in both the rally and the Drivers’ Championship), who can deny that this was one, amazing parking job? Okay, so it may have proved to be a little tight for Anttila. But, you have (certainly) impressed us, with your passion, your vision, and your parking skills, Monsieur Jerry.
[ 8 F E B R U A R Y – 1 2 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 2 ]
Dani Sordo blasts through a snowbank
What is an action sequence without a car, blasting through a sheet of glass or wall of something or another? Lame, that’s what. And, who has never wished for the opportunity to reenact one of the sequences? Well, not Dani Sordo (ESP/co-driver Carlos del Barrio-ESP), that is for sure. And he made that pretty clear during Stage 8 of Rally Sweden 2012, when, rather than run into a large snowbank (as many drivers do during the snow rally), he just went ahead and blasted right through it. Cinematically. As if meant to be watched in slow motion and in repeat, from different angles. But, remember that this is rally. The motorsport with a sub-focus on vehicular cuteness. So, when Sordo blasted through the snowbank, it was not in some hostile muscle car or supercar (which, let’s face it, would have shattered into a zillion carbon fibre pieces upon impact). No. Sordo lived the dream in…a MINI John Cooper Works. A MINI. The most adorable of all adorable rally cars. An iconic rally car which races with all the determined fury of a hamster. And Sordo blasted it through a snowbank. Though the Steve McQueen move may have resulted in engine damage and (ultimately) retirement from his Swedish run, Sordo exited the event having made one hell of an impression. Was it epic? No. “Epic” could never possibly do justice to this highlight of the 2012 season. Because, that was a MINI. Blasting through a snowbank. A MINI!!! Fantastic!
R A L L Y G U A N A J U A T O M É X I C O
[ 8 M A R C H – 1 1 M A R C H 2 0 1 2 ]
Becs Williams licks Sébastien Loeb
Oh, you read that correctly. This was the event that prompted us to start awarding the World Rally Championship with cookies and gold stars, in fact. Because, when (literal) motormouth of the WRC Becs Williams went with her instincts during an innocent congratulatory gesture, how could it not be honoured? What on earth did Williams do that could warrant such excitement? She licked the record-making, bar-setting driver to beat of the sport. As Williams went in for a standard, friendly hug with the most recent winner of Rally Mexico, Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) clarified that he was wet from champagne, rather than sweat. And Williams handled the situation as many of us with licking tendencies (and/or taste buds with a love of champagne) might: she licked Loeb’s face. Oh, yes. Becs Williams, the Oprah of the WRC (sans the terrifying “Here’s a car; just remember that I could make you disappear” vibes), announcer of WRC radio, hostess of press conferences, producer of Ford World Rally Team videos, the woman who knows rally like the back of her well-manicured hand, who knows (and is loved by) everyone who is anyone in the sport, and who (always) has the proper shoes to handle whatever comes her way, licked the face of Sébastien Loeb, the man to beat, the quintessentially cool Frenchman, the most intimidating talent of the WRC. So far as we are concerned, everyone else lost Rally Mexico. Only The Duchess played the game correctly. It is pretty simple: when in Mexico, rock a sombrero and drink booze off another person. Excellent work, Señorita Williams!
V O D A F O N E R A L L Y D E P O R T U G A L
[ 2 9 M A R C H – 1 A P R I L 2 0 1 2 ]
Jerry Matt flips out – and into the awkward moment of the year
Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN) is the ultimate portrait of a Finn. Not only does he look as classically Finnish as humanly possible, he harbours the traditional Scandinavian temperament to match, a volatile combination of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, operating on a switch (usually) set to a quiet “pretty okay”. Rally de Portugal was a disaster from the start, picking off cars, one-by-one, dashing the podium hopes of many whilst paralysing those who remained. But, that was no consolation for the passionate Finn after the #3 Ford Fiesta of the rally leader hit a rock (which had appeared in the rain-eroded road long after recce notes had been taken and in the midst of low visibility conditions) in the opening stage of Day 2. With the damaged car stuck in a ditch (at an impossible incline), staring at his third crash in four rallies, with media criticism following his exit from Rally Mexico fresh in his mind, Jerry Matt unravelled into a state of regression. First, the steely-expressioned driver hunted down the ruma perkele rock. Then, he not only removed it from the road, he kicked the non-existent life out of it. Then, he threw a (completely) innocent rock. Oh, it was lesson learning time for the inanimate offender and the rest of its horrid kind. And, when it was all over, like an overtired child (or, a Scandinavian adult), he slumped into sobby exasperation, blurting to reporters that he was losing his passion and wanted to quit. It was, by far and away, the most awkward moment of the season. Then, he bounced back. That is Scandinavian passion, people. And, that…is our Jerry Matt!
P H I L I P S R A L L Y A R G E N T I N A
[ 2 6 A P R I L – 2 9 A P R I L 2 0 1 2 ]
Daniel Elena teaches Mikko Hirvonen a lesson
When in Rome, do as the Romans. When in Argentina, refer to Frosties (Frosted Flakes in the US and Canada – “They bring out the tiger in you” and “They’re Gr-r-reat!”) as Zucaritas. This is an important lesson. If you happen to be Citroën driver Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN) and find yourself caught using the regionally inappropriate name with the box right in front of you – and Daniel Elena (MCO/driver Sébastien Loeb-FRA) observing the error. Yes, accustomed to calling his cereal of choice by the name he grew up with and has spent over 30 years using, Hirvonen made the fatal mistake of forgetting the company he was in. Which just so happened to be his teammates, people with a similar offbeat, detail-oriented sense of humour to himself. With the bonus of Elena having a knack for catching bizarre and ridiculous moments on camera. Hirvonen should have known better. But, fortunately for the world, he slipped. Making sure that the box was directly in front of the Finn, with Zucaritas clear as day, Elena shamed the cultural lesson into Hirvonen through the magic of Twitter. The result? (Possibly) the finest photograph taken in the 2012 WRC season, captioned “wrong information for Mikko is not frosties is zucaritas ;-)))”. Though Hirvonen attempted to plead his case, the evidence was all there, the damage had been done, the lesson had been learned (the hardest way possible), and the look on the face of the offender said it all. He knows what he did.
[ 2 4 M A Y – 2 7 M A Y 2 0 1 2 ]
How to survive a pre-event press conference
MH:
Jari-Matti will be doing the Winter Olympics next time!
JML:
I think I need to train more. Maybe I should take Mikko as my trainer…
Press conferences tend to be a highlight of every rally. There is (always) someone who will toss their filter out the door and (always) someone who will become so bored by the chattiness of another that they will lose all control of their physical expressions. And, during the pre-event press conference for Acropolis Rally 2012, the world had the pleasure of observing extreme examples of both. Where to begin? Oh, how about with Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN). When it comes to having fun with words, no one has mastered the art of the press conference quite like naughty manboy Hirvonen. The Finn has a far better grasp of the English language than most Amur’kins – and he is not afraid to use and abuse these skills. Case in point: Acropolis Rally. During which he not only informed the world that his (new) HANS device allows him to do even more “silly things in the car”, he decided to help the other drivers out with prompts and suggestions. Such as bringing up the Olympic bid of Nasser Al-Attiyah (QAT/co-driver Giovanni Bernacchini-ITA), then suggesting that Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN), who was competing in his first rally since breaking his collarbone whilst rolling the Nordic out of Nordic skiing, should look into the Winter Olympics. Hirvonen continued to blurt out what popped into his head through the entire session, leaving just enough room for Jerry Matt to talk. Which, although Jerry Matt was flinging the snark right back at Hirvonen, bored the life out of Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Denis Giraudet-FRA). Because, Jerry Matt is a talker. Once he gets started, he cannot stop until he has covered every detail of every semi-related topic. Novikov just could not take it. And, it showed. Oh, man, did it show. While obvious zoning out and the occasional eye roll are commonplace in press conferences, Novikov raised the bar to a level one can only (in the name of all that is amusing) hope is challenged in the future. There was exaggerated eye rolling, there was fidgeting, and there was deep exhaling. And, the best part of it all? Novikov was sitting directly behind Jerry Matt, resulting in juxtapositional perfection and answering the question, “Do blondes (really) have more fun?”. Why, yes. Yes. They. Do. Even when they are not. Apparently. What else did we learn? How to survive a press conference. Watch and learn:
WRC Official Site – Video – Greece 2012: Thursday Press Conference
B R O T H E R R A L L Y N E W Z E A L A N D
[ 2 1 J U N E – 2 4 J U N E 2 0 1 2 ]
Jarmo Lehtinen: Norse god of good Samaritans
Finnish driver Mikko Hirvonen and his co-driver, Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN), are close. Very close. Which is not only common in rally partnerships, but invaluable in a working relationship so dependent upon trust. But, in the case of Hirvonen and Lehtinen, after spending a decade in close quarters (together), they may just be a bit too close. Not that this is a bad thing, by any means. It only means that it can result in some interesting situations and scenarios. As was the case at Rally New Zealand 2012. After a long trip to the South Pacific nation, made even longer by delayed flights, Hirvonen found himself stranded in Auckland with no luggage. A bit of a problem, yes. But, a problem (easily) solved when he asked Lehtinen (who was headed out for some exploration and shopping, anyway) to pick some clothes up for him. Which Lehtinen, being the well-organised, good friend he is, agreed to. And, came through on. Kind of. See, Lehtinen (like Hirvonen) is known to have a rather twisted sense of humour. And, similar to the Zucaritas incident of Rally Argentina 2012, Hirvonen should have known better. Because, what (inevitably) happened was absolutely and deliciously diabolical. Ladies and gentlemen, in the words of Mikko Hirvonen and courtesy of (hetero life partner) Jarmo “Norse God of Good Samaritans” Lehtinen, the highlight of Rally New Zealand 2012:
N E S T E O I L R A L L Y F I N L A N D
[ 1 A U G U S T – 4 A U G U S T 2 0 1 2 ]
Petter Solberg opens a press conference package
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN) and Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) are loose canons of the most amusing variety. Putting just one of them in a press conference is a bit like Forest Gump’s “Life is like a box of chocolates” analogy. Because, you just never know what you are going to get. Will they behave or will they not? And, if they fail to behave, what offhand remark will set them off? Well, during the pre-event press conference for Rally Finland 2012, it was Solberg who lit the feisty fuse of Hirvonen with one, loaded remark:
Q:
Ouninpohja returns to its former glory, you hold the record for the stage from 2004. How much will you defend that this weekend?
PS:
For sure. I don´t know if Mikko has the balls to do it!
MH:
Do you want to check?
Observation: never mention balls (or anything even remotely sexual) anywhere within earshot of Mikko Hirvonen. Especially, when he is not only on his home turf, but in the comfort of his hometown. Because, this is (exactly) what you get. A formal invitation to a pants party. In front of a jam-packed collection of media. However, Cookies & Gold Stars (of course) fully supports dropping balls into conversation as often as possible and, therefore, have to award Solberg and Hirvonen for providing the biggest pallit of 2012. Tremendous work, boys. Kippis!
A D A C R A L L Y E D E U T S C H L A N D
[ 2 3 A U G U S T – 2 6 A U G U S T 2 0 1 2 ]
Sébastien Loeb reveals new sponsorship
Like most of the events of the 2012 World Rally Championship calendar, Rallye Deutschland was a mess. Well, unless you were Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO). Who just happens to have worked out a deal with Mother Nature. Though one could have looked at the situation and (easily) credited it to choosing a road position wisely, one has to wonder how that road position just so happened to have been so perfect, by such a small margin, so many times. Loeb would head out on a stage, arrive at the finish line, park for interviews, and leave a dry spot (where his DS3 had been) behind. Which (also) meant that every driver in his wake was driving in the rain that he had (suspiciously) missed. Coincidence? Ha! No. What it is, is pure genius. Red Bull may give you wings, but sponsorship from Mother Nature harnesses the power to clip the wings of others. And that is what makes Loeb so fantastic: he has the talent, he has the brains, and he is so likable that even nature loves him. See? It pays to be nice. (Or, something.)
W A L E S R A L L Y G R E A T B R I T A I N
[ 1 3 S E P T E M B E R – 1 6 S E P T E M B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Petter Solberg misinterprets Jerry Matt Latvala’s love of Hollywood
Anyone who has browsed the photos of Petter “Hollywood” Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) or Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka “Minni’s Dad” Anttila-FIN) will have noticed that the two have popped up in the pictures of one another quite a bit over the years. No matter what team Solberg was with, he (always) found his way over to Jerry Matt. While bromances and hetero life partnerships are not uncommon in the WRC, they tend to be forged between drivers and co-drivers. Which makes this an especially precious relationship, given the amount of hunting and gathering involved. And, though (with the two, on the podium as teammates at last) it did not take much hunting, Solberg certainly did do some gathering.
Oh! Just look at that grip! Look at the resistance! But, Solberg is a fighter, a Viking warrior, armed with plenty of experience in dealing with getting around the big Finn’s (stereotypically Finnish) massive personal space bubble. There was no hiding for Jerry Matt. Because there was no way he was running anywhere. Though Jerry Matt may have come away with first and Solberg, with third, (based on these photos, alone) we think it is safe to declare them (both) winners of Wales Rally GB 2012. And, we would like to encourage some celebrating of this non-accomplishment. Yes. Hugs and kisses from Cookies & Gold Stars. (Now, your turn. Come on. You know you want to.)
R A L L Y E D E F R A N C E – A L S A C E
[ 4 O C T O B E R – 7 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Evgeny Novikov, Ilka Minor, and the fight against Children of the Corn
Ever since Stephen King penned the short story Children of the Corn (in 1977), there has been some serious aversion to cornfields. In fact, if you are like us (yikes – sorry), you (probably) have a friend or seven who will go out of their way just to avoid roads going anywhere near those crops. Which can be a tad inconvenient, if you live in an agricultural region. But, that should clarify just how extreme the effect of the story has been on society. And, it appears that Evgeny Novikov (RUS) and his co-driver, Ilka Minor (AUT), fall into the category of those most seriously affected by this terror. However, Novikov and Minor, never ones to let a horrific setback get in their way, were not going to let this horrible affliction get in the way of their – or anybody else’s – bid for Rallye de France-Alsace glory. Whilst passing through the cornfield-lined, rain-drenched roads of Stage 14, Novikov and Minor appear to have seen something in the maize. Not known for taking unnecessary risks, the young Russian and his Austrian co-pilot launched a calculated preemptive strike, speeding into the corn and exterminating whatever evil corn cult children might be stalking the drivers, before rushing back to the route to claim seventh and preserve their eighth-place (overall) position. Though the two were not able to clench a spot on the podium, they were able to land in seventh, scoring points and coming away with hero status. Evgeny Novikov and Ilka Minor, in the fight against evil corn cult children, we salute you.
R A L L Y I T A L I A S A R D E G N A
[ 1 8 O C T O B E R – 2 1 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
A classic Italian dish for a Czech car, from an all-American family
There is (really) nothing to say about this one. Just that we would like to thank Martin Prokop (CZE), Zdeněk Hrůza (CZE), and their crew for sharing this mind-blowingly unnecessarily fantastic photograph. Why does this exist? Who knows? And, who cares?! All anyone needs to know is that the world is a much better place for having such randomness – and those goofy enough to capture the randomness for all to enjoy – in it. Welcome to Italy, birthplace of pizza. From…the animated embodiment of the all-American family, The Simpsons? D’oh!
R A L L Y R A C C R A L L Y D E E S P A Ñ A
[ 8 N O V E M B E R – 1 1 N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
The Finnish
Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN), Mikko Hirvonen (FIN), and Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN). What the hell is wrong with these kids? Oh, sorry. These grown men. No, really. Like early grade school pictures, there are (always) suspicious things going on in World Rally Championship group photos. But, what in the name of all that is…whatever…was going on when this group photo was taken? Is Hirvonen plotting a wedgie for Sébastien Loeb (FRA)? Is he taking a photo of Loeb’s ass? Is he applying a “kick me” Post-It to Loeb’s back? Did he unzip and unleash? Did he pull up some porn on his phone? Are Jerry Matt and Lehtinen blasting Hirvonen with height-related slams? We have no idea. All we know is that there are three Finns, looking guilty, whilst Thierry Neuville (BEL) appears to be diverting his eyes, Kuldar Sikk (EST) is watching the show, Dani Sordo (ESP) is commenting on it, and Petter Solberg (NOR) just wants to know what his silly Jerry Matt is up to. And that Jerry Matt and Lehtinen are getting a good laugh in whilst Hirvonen appears to be at peak mischievousness. Well, whatever may (or, may not – yeah, okay) have been going down at the time this moment was captured, it stands as a perfect example of saving the best for last. Though the 2012 season was (undeniably) a tough one, through all the ups and downs, spirits remained intact and able to bounce back to great heights to the very end. Smile, everybody – it’s over! Enjoy your Manilow moment. (Oh, and – pssst – you are on camera.)
…Yeah. Oookaaayyy. Anyway…
Cookies and gold stars to everyone!
(We will be watching you in 2013!)
. . . . . . .
wrc 2012: and the cookies & gold stars go to (the nice list)
. . . . . . .
For more information on the World Rally Championship…
World Rally Championship Official Site
Editorial note: A reminder-I do not (actually) carry cookies or gold stars with me. I am working under the assumption that none of us will ever cross paths.
-hitchcockblonde
Usually, when Cookies & Gold Stars compiles a list of favourite moments, it is a celebration of snark. Rather than point out the (actual) highlights, we (not unlike chimps, grooming one another) tend to pick out the most ridiculous moments and absurd details. Then, we offer our interpretation of the situations and (in our inevitable bias) refer to Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) as “Jerry Matt”. Which has led readers to assume most of our lists have been written whilst under the influence of something (washing down lead-based paint chips with hillbilly bathtub brew or something). A theory easily drowned in the reality of coffee and water. So, in the spirit of the holiday season, we would like to share our thoughts on the 2012 World Rally Championship season from a (more) serious standpoint. A “nice” list, if you will. An event-by-event glance at what made each one of the 13 stops so special, honouring the heroes, legends, and legendary locations which came together to create such a magical, memorable atmosphere.
…And the cookies and gold stars go to (the nice list)…
R A L L Y E M O N T E – C A R L O
[ 1 7 J A N U A R Y – 2 2 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 2 ]
Petter Solberg and Mikko Hirvonen fight for third
Okay. So, it was not (exactly) a fight for third. Though Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN) found his stride (about) midway through the rally and each driver had their ups and downs, Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) was charging like a bull through Pamplona right out of the gates and all the way to the final step on the podium. But, it is not the battle (or, lack there of) which is the focus (here). What made these performances special was that both drivers were making their debuts not only with new teams, but with (completely) foreign vehicles. Prior to Rallye Monte-Carlo 2012, Hirvonen and Lehtinen had been heading up the Ford World Rally Team from behind the wheel of a Ford Focus and a Ford Fiesta, while Solberg and Patterson were running independently in a Citroën C4 and Citroën DS3. As the tables turned with the winds of opportunity, putting Hirvonen piloting a DS3 (for the Citroën WRT) and Solberg piloting a Fiesta (for the Ford WRT), both drivers kept their eyes on the prize, setting out to impress their new teams and prove their versatility to the world. And, impress, they did. With the exception of stages 4 (in which Hirvonen came in 11th), 12 (in which Solberg came in 11th), and 18 (in which Solberg came in 13th), both drivers showed steady hands through the 18 icy stages, landing in the top 10 through the duration of the rally. In fact, not only did they hold steady, they split six stage wins, with Solberg winning stages 11, 15, 16, and 17, and Hirvonen taking stages 12, 13, and 14. Pretty good for a pair of newbies, eh? Although it was Solberg who (ultimately) claimed podium fame (landing Hirvonen about a minute behind in fourth), at the end of the rally, it was both drivers who came away winners, making it perfectly clear that a little vehicular change-up was nothing their natural talents could not handle.
[ 8 F E B R U A R Y – 1 2 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 2 ]
Scandinavia for the Scandinavians
Rally Sweden was the token snow event on the 2012 WRC calendar. And, who knows how to maneuver icy, snowy, hilly, curvy, lakeside roads than those who grew up on them? Sweden is (notoriously) a Scandinavian-dominated event. And 2012 was no exception. But, what made this round so special was that the top was a brutal battle to the very end (literally) – amongst two Finns and two Norwegians. At the top were Ford pilot Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) and his former teammate, Citroën’s Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN). Tailgating the Finns were the Norwegians, Ford’s Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) and Adapta privateer Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE). As for the brutal battle? Well, that only added to the interest. As it was logistical. Though the four leading Scandinavian drivers dominated the overall standings through the majority of the rally, the stage-by-stage results were a showcase of snow driving, with (seemingly) everyone getting a turn in the top five, if not taking a stage win. But, all this translated to highly calculated runs by those (ultimate) top four cars, utilising a combination of talent, experience, and natural instincts. A formula giving the natives a clear advantage, as demonstrated by runs as calm and cool as the environment they were racing through. At the end of the 24-stage snow run, it was (Ford team leader) Latvala who beat (former Ford team leader) Hirvonen (by a mere 16.6 seconds) for first and Østberg who beat Solberg for third (by 35.5 seconds). And, though Solberg’s loss had been blamed on a late-rally puncture (caused by the gravelly mix left by an unseasonable lack of snow), the true reason may just lie in the co-drivers, as it was Andersson who stood on the podium of his home rally that day, rather than (quintessential) Northern Ireland native Patterson. Or, (maybe) it was a Viking brotherhood pact between Norwegians, as this was Østberg’s first rally of the season and Solberg had taken third in his season opener. Whatever the case may be, the event was a memorable one. Scandinavia for the Scandinavians. That was the story of Rally Sweden 2012.
R A L L Y G U A N A J U A T O M É X I C O
[ 8 M A R C H – 1 1 M A R C H 2 0 1 2 ]
Ramona Karlsson and Miriam Walfridsson cross the finish line
Talk about making history. Though (tragically) too few and far between, the history of the WRC is not without female representation. In fact, just this season, Louise Cook (GBR/co-driver Stefan Davis-GBR) made her debut in a headlight eyelash-adorned, pink-detailed, two-wheel-drive Ford Fiesta at Monte-Carlo. Not only did Cook, as hardworking, talented, and quick as she is enviably adorable, enter the icy race, she did what those with far more power and experience failed to do: she finished. But, Cook was just the tip of the icy blonde iceberg that was about to crash into the WRC boys’ club party this year. Enter Ramona Karlsson and Miriam Walfridsson. That is correct. Ramona and Miriam. An all-girl team out of Sweden, armed with a hot pink Mitsubishi Evo X and ready to make their PWRC debut on the grueling high-elevation roads of Rally Mexico. Like Cook, both girls came in just as hardworking, talented, and quick as they are ridiculously adorable. And, like Cook, they (too) did what those with far more power and experience failed to do: they finished. Also, like Cook, they finished with their makeup in tact – even through the sweltering, sweaty conditions of Mexico. Yeah; try that one, boys. Now, while this could (easily) be laughed off as silly or filed under ‘degrading’, it was quite the contrary. Cook, Karlsson, and Walfridsson are girls. Girly girls. There can be no doubt about it. What Cook brought to the table, Karlsson and Walfridsson drove home: just because a girl enjoys being a girl, it does not make her any less talented or capable of understanding and taking on the world of motorsports. And, just because a girl is talented and understands and takes on the world of motorsports, it does not mean she has to sacrifice her pride in being a girl. They came, they saw, they kicked ass (well, they crossed the finish line – second to last; but, they crossed it in their first bid), and they looked amazing whilst doing it. Welcome to girl power.
V O D A F O N E R A L L Y D E P O R T U G A L
[ 2 9 M A R C H – 1 A P R I L 2 0 1 2 ]
Slow and steady wins the race
Rally Portugal was a nightmare. Simple as that. (Usually) a dry rally, with the biggest threat coming from dust clouds, the region (which had been experiencing a period of drought) found itself waterlogged just in time for the event to get underway. In fact, the rain was so intense that stages 8, 9, and 10 were deemed too hazardous to even creep through. The stages were cancelled, bringing the second day of competition to an early end. But, not before it had taken some high-profile cars out of the race, including both Ford World Rally Team cars. Both Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) and Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) were knocked out of Day 2 in slow-motion slides off the road, making it clear that even the smallest of errors would be magnified under the adverse conditions, that the roads would not be the same roads teams took notes on during recce, and that this would be a case of “slow and steady wins the race”. And, it was. In the end, it was the teams which took it easy, went with the flow, and prioritized finishing, rather than winning who came out on top. A strategy that paid off for the likes of Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN), Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE), Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Denis Giraudet-FRA), and Solberg, who bounced back from his off-road adventure with an even stronger desire to finish and an even greater respect for and understanding of the roads he would set out to redeem himself on. Rally Portugal would have marked the first win for Hirvonen with Citroën, had illegal parts not been revealed during post-event scrutineering. Parts which, sadly, under the circumstances (of it being such a slow-paced event), offered no advantage. Hirvonen maneuvered the mudslides beautifully in a perfect demonstration of the power of man over machine in an age of mechanical obsession. And, though Hirvonen may have been stripped of the ultimate reward for his work, the performances of Østberg, Novikov, and Solberg were just as worthy of the promotions gained through Hirvonen’s loss, having kept up with the Finn right through the mess. While Rally de Portugal was (undeniably) a nightmare for drivers, it stands a dream for those who love an amazing demonstration of driving. For better or worse, Portugal proved to be a pivotal point in the season, creating a cloud of paranoia which would hover over the WRC through the season, causing teams to jump toward proactive extremes, approaching rallies with more caution and preserving positions earlier. Though this may have resulted in some borderline boring and (sometimes) frustrating moments, it would (also) aid teams through what would be an unnervingly wet season. For being a complete and utter nightmare, Portugal sure was a highlight of the 2012 season.
P H I L I P S R A L L Y A R G E N T I N A
[ 2 6 A P R I L – 2 9 A P R I L 2 0 1 2 ]
Dani Sordo: emergency responder
Following Rally de Portugal, drivers went their separate ways and embarked upon training cramming sessions in the brief break prior to Rally Argentina. In most cases, the interim went uneventfully. In the case of Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN), a man who had gained a reputation for finding disaster this season, a standard cross-country ski outing in (Finnish) Lapland panned out to be anything but uneventful. In one of those classic moments of regret, Latvala, skiing in post-windstorm conditions, found his skis caught-up on a debris-littered trail whilst descending a hill separating him from his car. When toe-clipped cross-country skis get stuck on an incline, there is only one way to go. And that is exactly where Latvala went. Then, to the hospital. Yes, Latvala rolled the Nordic right out of Nordic skiing – and broke his left collarbone in the process. And, though the Finn was following every rule and recommendation in the healing process, from having the break plated to adjusting his training with every (medical) clearance, participation in Rally Argentina was an impossibility. This left Ford with a seat to fill. But, with such short notice, who do you call? How about Dani Sordo (ESP/co-driver Carlos del Barrio-ESP)? Sordo was in his second season with MINI/Prodrive, piloting a MINI John Cooper Works WRC through a lengthy development process, a process that (too often) left the talented veteran out of WRC competition. And it just so happened that Argentina would be one of those rallies left off of Sordo’s 2012 schedule. So, Ford made the call, Prodrive saw an opportunity for their driver to get more practice in, and (after a very brief introduction to the Fiesta) off to South America the Spaniard went. And Sordo took to Latvala’s #3 Fiesta as if he had been in the seat all season, securing a podium finish through Stage 18. But, with the finish line in sight, disaster hit in the final stage. By no fault of his own, the Fiesta (suddenly) failed, coming to a complete halt and leaving the enthusiastic seat-filler helpless, so close to taking his second podium of the 2012 season and giving Ford a much-needed points boost. Though Sordo may have travelled all the way to Argentina, only to come away, empty-handed, the trip was far from a total loss. Much like Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN) at Rally de Portugal, nothing can take away the fact that Sordo not only drove a spectacular rally under adverse conditions, he performed under pressure with grace, showcasing his natural talent and all-around good attitude. There were many highlights through Argentina, from the two Citroëns battling for first (until, under post-Portugal paranoia, the positions were held) to the two Volkswagen-run Škoda Fabia S2000s, racing with one another so intensely that they stole the show and broke into the top ten (until the retirement of Andreas Mikkelsen-NOR/co-driver Ola Fløene-NOR after Stage 15). But, it was Sordo’s (ultimately) heartbreaking above and beyond performance as a seat-filler for Ford that stood out not only as a rally highlight, but a season highlight and serving as a reminder that the Spaniard (really) is just that good.
[ 2 4 M A Y – 2 7 M A Y 2 0 1 2 ]
Jari-Matti Latvala and the Rally of Norse Gods
After rolling the Nordic out of Nordic skiing, and himself right out of Rally Argentina, Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) was anxious to get back into WRC action. (Still) with pins holding his broken left collarbone in place, Latvala returned his Finnish buns to the seat of the #3 Ford Fiesta for the notoriously challenging Acropolis Rally. Armed with a (slightly) more relaxed attitude, an enforced sense of caution, and a little extra padding on his harness, the Finn took to the shattered glorified mountain bike trails not as if he had never left, but as if he had taken advantage of his time away, using it to step away and see the forest for the trees (finding oneself out of commission after being tripped up by pine needles can have that effect). And the positive results of his forced time-out were made very clear very quickly. Though the torturous routes were made even more challenging by rain (yes, not even Greece was spared in 2012), Latvala not only won an extraordinary 10 (of 22) stages, he won the first three stages of his return. Driving in a state of mind so grounded that not even a troublesome 30th-place finish in Stage 14 could rattle his calm and collected manner. By the end of the race, Latvala was standing on the third-place step of the 2012 Acropolis Rally podium, having accomplished something not expected from a driver who had been slammed (by critics and sad keyboard bullies) as a disaster. And (certainly) not expected from a man who was (still) recovering from a serious injury. It seems that Latvala had found himself stuck in a rut and that the universe tossed him a little opportunity under the veil of another knock from Murphy’s Law. It was up to him to take it or leave it. Latvala took it. And, then, he took Acropolis. Rally of Norse Gods.
B R O T H E R R A L L Y N E W Z E A L A N D
[ 2 1 J U N E – 2 4 J U N E 2 0 1 2 ]
New Zealand welcomes two Spaniards in a MINI
Rally New Zealand 2012 was a highlight in and of itself. Just because it happened. From the cambered roads, taken like skiers on mogul runs, to the eerily majestic forested stretches to the lengths most involved have to go just to get there to the recovery involved in those commutes, New Zealand is a special event (simply) because of its unbelievably bizarre location. And that is why, of all the highlights, both good and bad, the funny and the heart-wrenching, this breathtakingly beautiful, mind-blowingly cool, undeniably and instantly iconic photo stands out as the most memorable moment on the North Island rally. Welcome to New Zealand.
N E S T E O I L R A L L Y F I N L A N D
[ 1 A U G U S T – 4 A U G U S T 2 0 1 2 ]
Evgeny Novikov chooses Denis Giraudet over Finland
M-Sport pilot Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Denis Giraudet-FRA) young. And with youth comes excusable stupidity and recklessness. Novikov is no exception. When not competing, the Russian racer enjoys getting tanked and mastering his favourite (non-rally) sport: sex. When competing, he enjoys testing the limitations of his car, the routes, himself, and his co-driver. Then, picking up the pieces and willing them back on the road. Rally Finland, however, proved to be a game changer for the (then) 21-year-old. After a series of mishaps, including a rollover which damaged their Fiesta beyond recognition, leaving Novikov with the bonus challenge of driving with the bonnet, crumpled over the windshield, it was clear that the cumulative effect had taken its toll on the back of Giraudet. Though it would (later) be revealed that the veteran co-driver had suffered injuries which would require surgery and a lengthy recovery, all Novikov knew (at the time) was that Giraudet was in a bad way and that he had a choice to make: keep forging ahead or back off. In what appeared to be an easy decision, Novikov chose to protect the well-being of Giraudet. The driver tossed a points fight out the window and opted for (simply) finishing the rally, preserving what was left of his co-driver and ensuring that it was all for something. They accomplished this modest goal, coming in at 36th and proving that Novikov has more than fiery passion and raw talent yet to be harnessed. He has heart. It seems that there may just be a method to the madness of Evgeny Novikov. Because, as he demonstrated at Rally Finland, he sure appears to have his head and his heart in synch and on track for a long career.
A D A C R A L L Y E D E U T S C H L A N D
[ 2 3 A U G U S T – 2 6 A U G U S T 2 0 1 2 ]
Ott Tänak and Kuldar Sikk do well and good
Ott Tänak (EST/co-driver Kuldar Sikk-EST) had a pretty great run at Rallye Deutschland 2012. Okay, so he collided with a hinkelstein (in Stage 12), ended the rally in ninth, and opted to withdraw from the event (in the name of technical strategy in future events). But, he (also) took his first stage win on tarmac (Stage 10), followed it with a reality pinch win (in Stage 11), and, like Evgeny Novikov (at Finland), injected the rally with a massive dose of humanity. When Fiona, the Czech Ford National Team Ford Fiesta of Martin Prokop (CZE/co-driver Zděnek Hrůza-CZE) caught fire near the end of Stage 3, the M-Sport Fiesta of Tänak and Sikk was the only car to stop and offer help. Though the fire had turned into an inferno beyond the aid of an extra extinguisher or any other help the Estonians could offer, it was the thought that counted – and it was the thought that Prokop remembered, crediting the M-Sport duo with their good sportsmanship through his outrage over the lack of response to the situation. And, though no driver could possibly be blamed for not stopping, more than likely assuming that the situation was under control and that help had been called in immediately, the fact that Tänak and Sikk did put their own bid aside to stop and see if there was anything they could do is a good deed worth noting. It seems the M-Sport kids have more than just talent going for them. These kids not only have the goods, they are good. And that is refreshing to see.
W A L E S R A L L Y G R E A T B R I T A I N
[ 1 3 S E P T E M B E R – 1 6 S E P T E M B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Craig Breen returns to Wales a more powerful man in a more powerful machine
A lot can happen in a year. In 2011, Craig Breen (IRL) and (co-driver) Gareth Roberts (GBR) won the WRC Academy title at Wales Rally GB. On 16 June 2012, Gareth Roberts lost his life when the Peugeot 207 S2000 the duo were piloting (in the Targo Florio round of the Intercontinental Rally Challenge) collided with a guardrail. On 16 September 2012, Craig Breen (with co-driver Paul Nagle-IRL by his side) drove a Ford Fiesta S2000 to SWRC victory at the home rally of Roberts, landing 13th overall in the WRC standings, marking the most emotional event of the season (if not in WRC history) and leaving very few dry eyes in the WRC community. Every grey cloud is said to have a silver lining. And, for all the grey clouds enveloping Wales Rally GB, Breen’s drive to honour his co-driver and friend in the presence of his family, whilst charging forward with life, sure shed a vivid light upon the muddy roads of Wales.
R A L L Y E D E F R A N C E – A L S A C E
[ 4 O C T O B E R – 7 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Homecoming: Sébastien Loeb wins it all
Love him, hate him, or otherwise, it cannot be denied that the victory of Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) at his home rally was a special moment of the 2012 WRC season. Though Loeb had taken seven wins in 2012 (leading up to Rallye de France-Alsace), the fact that this would be his final full season in the WRC (in the foreseeable future) and that he had the opportunity to clench the Drivers’ Championship at his home rally made it easy to cheer for the Frenchman this round. Especially after the (seemingly) invincible Loeb had not only just put up a vicious back-and-forth fight with Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) for second place at Wales Rally GB, but had so very obviously had the time of his life doing it. Loeb was in a good place – and it was contagious. And, as the hometown hero won the rally which had eluded him in 2011, a global celebration ensued. Loeb was on track to take the Drivers’ Championship (anyway), so to see it happen under the best of circumstances was a bit of a free pass for everyone to get into the spirit of the moment. And, it was not as if the road to victory was an easy one. Like so many rallies this season, Rallye de France-Alsace was hit with rain. Not just rain, but torrential rain. Which left roads waterlogged and drivers, struggling to maintain control through aquaplaning. It was a struggle just to stay on the road, much less stay on track for a win. And, while many of his competitors had haunting memories of Portugal to scare them into steadiness (even though Portugal had been a muddy gravel event, while France was on slippery tarmac), Loeb lacked this fresh frame of reference, having exited Portugal before the rain washed it away. In other words, Loeb went into France having retired from it the previous year, having just had to fight for a podium place at Wales, and having one less rainy round under his belt in the 2012 season than most of his peers. Though it would be misleading to classify him as an underdog, it is safe to say that Loeb entered his home rally on a nerve-wrackingly even playing field. Until he won. By a mere 15.5 seconds over Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN), who took second place by a mere 28.6 seconds over Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN). It was close. But, Loeb made it happen, taking the rally win and his ninth (consecutive) Drivers’ Championship win. How is that for a homecoming?
R A L L Y I T A L I A S A R D E G N A
[ 1 8 O C T O B E R – 2 1 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Mikko Hirvonen and Jarmo Lehtinen hold on tight for a (and to their) win
If there were a prize for most frustrating performance of the season, it would (easily) go to (driver) Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) and (co-driver) Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN). After a successful run as team leader at Ford World Rally Team, Hirvonen grabbed an opportunity to shake life up a bit when he took an offer to drive for Citroën in 2012. Though Hirvonen was on a learning curve through much of the season, adapting to the DS3 on various surfaces and in a variety of conditions, the naturally talented Finn staked his claim as a threat from the beginning of the season, coming in fourth in his first outing with his new team, in his new car. From there, the Finns took second at six rallies and third at two, often coming playing bridesmaid to the serial bride that was Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO). Even more frustrating was that, on several occasions, Hirvonen’s bid for first was sacrificed to ensure a victory for Loeb. An understandable strategy for Citroën. But, disheartening, nonetheless. On top of it all, the Finns had been stripped of their beautifully driven win at the disastrous Rally de Portugal, after post-event scrutineering found several illegal parts in their DS3. Parts that had been issued to the team, that the pilots were unaware of, and that had no effect in a rally which had to be driven so cautiously. For many, it was difficult to watch the pair (constantly) come so close, but never taking a win. And, as the season drew to a close, it appeared that Hirvonen would have to chalk his first year with the French factory team up to experience and exit without coming out on top. But, just as that prospect was settling in, something unexpected happened. The second day of Rally d’Italia competition saw frontrunners Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO), Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN), and Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) all slipping off the road and into retirement. With Loeb exiting the rally and the Ford boys, though eligible for restart, slipping down the standings and opening up the playing field, Hirvonen and Lehtinen found themselves in a familiar position, one similar to the one they had been in through Rally de Portugal – sans the white knuckle conditions. All they had to do was stay on the road, maintain their pace, and keep an eye on the rearview mirror. And that is exactly what they did. On 21 October 2012, Mikko Hirvonen and Jarmo Lehtinen were able to breathe a huge sigh of relief when they (finally) won their first WRC event with Citroën. As the saying goes, it was better late than never. Though, had it failed to happen, it (still) would have been a spectacular season for the Finntastic Finns. But, it did happen. And what a sweet victory it was.
R A L L Y R A C C R A L L Y D E E S P A Ñ A
[ 8 N O V E M B E R – 1 1 N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
The perfect summary to a challenging year
Grab a #2 pencil. Because, it is test time. After such a spectacular season, what could the final stop (possibly) have to offer that had not (already) been done? In one word, everything. Though the traditional end to the WRC season, Wales Rally GB, consistently provides a dramatically grand finale, Rally de España brought something very unique to the table: it was a cumulative test of everything teams had learned this year. It was tarmac, it was gravel; it was muddy, it was dusty; it was everything every driver had been through in 2012, all crammed into one rally. Nothing like a little pop quiz to liven up a finale, eh? Though minds were (already) on 2013, this final stop of 2012 would prove to be a wake-up call for many, while one, last battle waged on at the top. As cars struggled to make it through the remaining stages of the year, Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) and Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE) were competing for third place in the Drivers’ Championship, a fierce back-and-forth race (ultimately) won by Latvala, who marked his final run with Ford by taking second place in the rally, while Østberg landed in fourth. Just below the podium war was evidence of just how difficult this event was, with seemingly safe bets falling down the standings as underpowered and inexperienced surprises rushed in to fill their places. While veteran Ford driver Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) finished 11th (overall), last-minute Prodrive addition Jarkko Nikara (FIN/co-driver Jarkko Kalliolepo-FIN) held on all the way to a fifth-place finish. While home-rally MINI pilot Dani Sordo (ESP/co-driver Carlos del Barrio-ESP) ended his run with Prodrive in ninth, PG Andersson (SWE/co-driver Emil Axelsson-SWE) powered his Proton Satria Neo S2000 into eighth. A classic case of survival of the fittest, the results were just as all over the place as the conditions they were driving in, making Rally de España the perfect end to a crazy season. And, to the Ford World Rally Team, who, with Latvala and Anttila standing on the Goldilocks step of the podium, bid their fondest of fond farewells to the WRC as champagne showered the exhausted streets of Salou.
. . . . . . .
Cookies and gold stars to everyone!
(We will see you in 2013!)
. . . . . . .
wrc 2012: and the cookies & gold stars go to (the naughty list)
. . . . . . .
For more information on the World Rally Championship…
World Rally Championship Official Site
Editorial note: A reminder-I do not (actually) carry cookies or gold stars with me. I am working under the assumption that none of us will ever cross paths.
-hitchcockblonde
Since launching the nickname “Jerry Matt” into the atmosphere in an affectionate reference to World Rally Championship driver Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN/Volkswagen), we have received (literally) several questions, wondering who else might be on our nickname hit list (and even providing some suggestions – thank you?). At the very top of this list sits one very obvious candidate: Jerry Matt’s co-driver, Miikka Anttila (FIN/Volkswagen). Because, as backward and upside-down bizzaro logic would dictate, if Jari-Matti is Jerry Matt, then why would Miikka not be, say (for instance), Mike?
Well. Why?
The simple answer is that we have no (real) answer for this. Jari-Matti became Jerry Matt in a private conversation (a long-ish story we can share upon request). There was no strategy involved. It happened, it stuck, and it seemed like an amusing addition to the WRC commentary at Cookies & Gold Stars. And, as for other candidates (yes, there are a few), though there is no exact science to it, the use requires meeting criteria as dictated by “Jerry Matt” precedent. Jerry Matt is a sort of Peppermint Patty term of endearment, a misguided show of affection. Not unlike how little kids will poke, push, or pull the hair of one another on the playground as an expression of attention. A weird, indirect demonstration that they like another kid. In the case of Peppermint Patty, the sporty Peanuts character (always) refers to Charlie Brown (the object of her affection) as “Chuck”, her way of making it known that he is more than just another friend to her, that she cares about (and for) him. A sort of manufactured connection, along the lines of an inside joke. In the case of Jerry Matt, it (simply) signifies that we (genuinely) like the guy. That he is more than just another driver to keep track of, that we see something interesting in him, something quirky and odd. And that he has done some things that warrant a little bit of picking on (in the light-hearted way, of course) and appears to have the humour that can not only handle it, but appreciate it. And, therein lies the issue.
We realise that, at this point, the fact that we have not nicknamed Anttila may be even more confusing. We like him a great deal. He is quiet, he is amazingly relaxed, he has survived co-piloting for both Jerry Matt and Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/Citroën), he is not only well-spoken, he speaks far better English than (far-too) many native speakers, we have read that one of his favourite bands is R.E.M. (one of our all-time favourites as well), and he makes some of the greatest reactionary crash faces in rally (usually along the lines of a barely fazed “Are you kidding me?). We love Anttila. But, though he may have the humour to take it, he lacks a history of doing things to warrant any picking on. No on-camera melt-downs involving wordy claims of a loss for words, kicking inanimate objects, (general) awkwardness, or any other behaviour which could use a little comic relief. Nothing. Nothing that stands out (at least). Not only that, we feel it would be a pity to lose a name with triple double letters. Miikka Anttila. The emphases are just so (impressively) clear.
However, we caught something today that may change this. (At least) once in a while.
The Ford WRC Facebook page has been featuring some career highlights of Jerry Matt and Anttila, as told by the men, themselves, to commemorate the end of both the Ford WRC team and their time with the team they began their WRC career with. And the stories have been good ones, from first victories to adventures in getting home, they have been an all-encompassing portrait of an era. But, there was one element of one story that (really) stood out. A detail of the tiniest, yet most memorable, variety, as shared by Anttila…
“Minni”.
Though our commentary is highly dependent upon noticing and noting details and factoring personality into performance, we tend to know very little about the personal lives of the people we cover. The way we see it, their personal lives are none of our business. Are they single? Who cares? It is not as if we have a shot at them (they can all do far better – everyone can – trust us). This stance has nothing to do with a lack of interest in them (as people). It is just that, well, everyone is entitled to a private life. So, while we had read that Anttila had two children, this was the first time we had heard any names. Aaannnddd…
…We love it. In the most girly of high-pitched, “ohmygodsocuuute” sort of way. Not to mention that this provides further evidence that Finns are on a mission to be the most adorably quirky people on the planet. A mission we (fully) support. Especially, when the result is a name as fantastic as “Minni”.
So, what does this have to do with a nickname for Anttila?
Um, we think you may mean Minni’s Dad.
. . . . . . .
For more information on Minni’s Dad and Jerry Matt…
Jari-Matti Latvala Official Site / Jari-Matti Latvala Official Facebook Page
Jari-Matti Latvala Official YouTube Channel / Jari-Matti Latvala on Twitter
Latvala Motorsport Official Site
Volkswagen Motorsport Official Site / Volkswagen Motorsport on Facebook
Volkswagen Motorsport on Twitter / Volkswagen Motorsport on YouTube
Ford WRC Official Site / Ford WRC on Twitter
Ford WRC on Facebook / Ford WRC on YouTube
-hitchcockblonde
Last week, whilst running tests with Volkswagen Motorsport, driver Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN) and co-driver Miikka Anttila (FIN) were involved in their second crash in Mexico of 2012. The first crash occurred during Rally Guanajuato Mexico (8-11 March), when an attempt to avoid a perceived impending accident on a visually distorted stretch of Stage 22 went horribly wrong, resulting in the rolling of the #3 Ford Fiesta, damaging the roll cage, and (ultimately) retiring from what was looking to be a third-place finish. Though the details on the second crash remain a bit of a mystery, all reports pointed to the involvement of the Polo in a head-on collision with an unaccounted for car which had entered the test area. Autosport later confirmed that there was, indeed, a second car which was carrying a family of three and that the child was uninjured, the father received a minor concussion, and the mother was treated for a broken nose. How the rogue vehicle entered the stage or if the accident occurred on a public stretch (which would be no less mysterious, given the reported impact) has yet to be revealed. But, as a VW representative stated (as noted in the Autosport article), “The main thing is that nobody was seriously hurt in the accident.”
What a hideous start to a new job, though. As if Jerry Matt had not had a rough enough year, his name becoming synonymous with crashing (cars and himself), and was not having a difficult enough time adjusting to life outside the Ford bubble he had spent his career in since his teens. Liking Jerry Matt so much that we gave him an Americanized nickname and (constantly) pick on him like Peppermint Patty so misguidedly, yet affectionately, picks on Charlie Brown, this was not the news we wanted to hear. So, our natural reaction was…
How can we put an awesome Band-Aid on this, kiss it, and (kind of, but not really) make it better?
First, by apologising to the World Rally Championship fans of the world…
On behalf of North America, we would like to apologise for taking the super cool toy you let us borrow and breaking it. Again. For the second time this year. We are a rough bunch and not (really) used to this serious rally business. From the bottom of our fatty hearts, we sincerely apologise for breaking Jerry Matt. Again. For the second time this year. Sorry.
And, second, by congratulating Jerry Matt on becoming an honourary Amur’kin…
Señor Jerry Matt! You went to Mexico in the winter, rocked an Abercrombie t-shirt, and crashed a small VW in the middle of nowhere. Congratulations! You are (now) on your way to becoming an Amur’kin! On your next visit, just do some body shots off a Florida community college co-ed (originally from the Midwest, but she loves dolphins – as you will be able to tell from her tramp stamp – as much as she loves long walks on the beach), wake up (preferably face-down on a beach or under trash in an alley), unable to find your pants and with no idea who that scary, smeared makeup mess next to you is, and make the Federales angry with you by annoying them with whining about your lost wallet as if you are the only foreign tourist this has ever happened to and at the top of their priority list. Trust us on this one.
After Citroën Finns (driver) Mikko Hirvonen and (co-driver) Jarmo Lehtinen crashed their DS3 during pre-New Zealand testing (this past season), we wrote it off as getting a crash out of the way before hitting WRC stages. And, the same goes for this accident. First of all, it was out of Jerry Matt and Miikka’s control. Secondly, it was early testing with a new team, in a new car in the off-season. The bright side is that they (now) have a better idea as to how the Polo will react in a collision. It is all in the name of hoping for the best whilst preparing for the worst. Science, if you will. Good work on your thorough testing of crash response and reactions to the unexpected, guys!
. . . . . . .
For more information on Jari-Matti Latvala and Volkswagen Motorsport…
Jari-Matti Latvala Official Site / Jari-Matti Latvala Official Facebook Page
Jari-Matti Latvala Official YouTube Channel / Jari-Matti Latvala on Twitter
Volkswagen Motorsport Official Site / Volkswagen Motorsport on Facebook
Volkswagen Motorsport on Twitter / Volkswagen Motorsport on YouTube
-hitchcockblonde
Petter Solberg is retiring? The guy who just dispelled rumours that he was retiring? The Energizer Bunny of the WRC? Yeah…OK.
What you have just read is a summary of the Cookies & Gold Stars (immediate) reaction to news that World Rally Championship darling Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR) would be ending his 15-year career in the World Rally Championship. This is (also) what happens when one hears news through others, rather than from the source. A trickle-down effect of emotionally-charged takes on reality and the basis of the game “telephone” (if you have never played it, a group passes a message from ear to ear, with the final person revealing what message they received – which tends to be something completely different from what it started as; as always, childhood is the great social psychological experiment). In this case, an announcement from Solberg that he would be giving the 2013 season a miss (primarily due to funding) created a teary tsunami of loyal fans, crashing the shores as retirement.
Now, because we are one-eyebrow-raised-at-most-times skeptical brewers of bull, our minds went directly to one little moment in history:
The 2006 retirement of Formula 1 bar-setter Michael Schumacher (GER).
Does anyone else remember this moment? Although it marked a sad end of a tremendous era in F1, what made it most memorable was just how bizarre it was. From the wording to the physical presentation of it, there was a strong waft of forced air surrounding it. Schumacher (driving with Ferrari at the time) was (still) racing strong. In fact, he would end that 2006 season, taking the Drivers’ Championship battle with Fernando Alonso (ESP) all the way to the final stop. Though Alonso (ultimately) won, the point is that nothing about Schumacher came off as a man ready for retirement.
Like Schumacher, Solberg is (still) at the top of his game. Though he has not taken the top of a podium since his circumstantially inherited Wales Rally GB win in 2005 (whilst driving with the Subaru World Rally Team, inherited due to leader Loeb not wanting to take a win under the shadow of the death of Michael Park, who lost his life to a collision with a tree on Stage 15) and has not won a Drivers’ Championship since 2003 (his only, again with Subaru), he has seen 25 (give or take, an average person only has ten fingers and ten toes to count on) podiums since 2005 and has remained a steady threat in the Drivers’ Championship. Even whilst driving as a privateer, creating an eponymous team, after Subaru left the WRC. In fact, this past season, with a new team (Ford WRT) and in a new car (the Fiesta), he took five third-place spots (including Rallye Monte-Carlo, his first WRC outing in the Fiesta) and came in fifth in the Drivers’ Championship race. And, despite being a typically temperamental Scandinavian, complete with the highest of highs and lowest of lows, Solberg never once seemed at a loss for enthusiasm, charging into every rally to win (and to have a good time; he is Hollywood, after all). Even when that charge would land him somewhere off the road, Solberg would take take a moment to get his disappointment out, wave some reporters away, and bounce back with eyes (still) fixed on the prize. Even if he knew a podium was a numerical impossibility, it was about giving it his all.
Now, does that sound like a retirement in the making?
No. What it sounds like is exactly what Solberg’s actual statement eluded to. That, under the circumstances, stepping back for a season is the best option. Ford WRT no longer exists and there are no paying offers on the table. Which should come as no surprise, not because Solberg lacks talent, potential, or performance stability, but because of Ford’s (relatively) late announcement. A time crunch that would (also) make funding a privateer venture a struggle. As mentioned, Solberg ran as a privateer for three seasons before signing to Ford. One can only imagine the relief that contract offered (especially to a family man). And, how unprepared a person would be to reenter that situation on short notice, not to mention how exhausting the logistics of that prospect would be. What this sounds like is a time out for reconfiguration. Solberg is at a point in life and career that he knows the value of getting things right, rather than forcing situations and doing things half-assed. Will he return to the WRC? It would be very odd for someone who loves rally so much and has that much talent and enthusiasm to leave so soon. Yes, Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) will be entering 2013 on a partial schedule, preparing for an exit. But, Loeb has been on top for a long time and made it clear that he is seeking new racing challenges for his own (personal) development. The partial schedule, alone, leaves no questions as to how calculated this move is. And, never once, has there been mention of permanence. With Solberg, it (also) seems quite straightforward. He needs some time to reconfigure. Everyone needs a little time to step back, see the forest for the trees, and clean up a few annoying messes from time to time.
Or, a gap year.
Those are big in most of the world, are they not? Yes, let us call this a gap year. Something about that seems fitting for a former professional disco dancer, nicknamed Hollywood. Maybe he will return to the WRC. Maybe he will channel his energy toward rallycross or another area of motorsport that has intrigued him. Maybe he will find beaded necklace bliss on a beach somewhere. Who knows. All we know is that it has been an absolute pleasure following Solberg in his return to a manufacturer’s seat in our first year of WRC commentary. Characters like Solberg are what started this and what have kept it going, just as they have kept the WRC going. Because, after all, it is all about the fun, is it not?
The best of luck to you in whatever endeavors you take on, Hollywood. They will all be more exciting and fun with you in them. Schumacher returned to F1 because racing is his passion, he missed it, and he had some unfinished business. And Schumacher had made it clear (in 2006) that he was ending his career. Semantics have nothing on the heart and there will always be room for enthusiasm and talent in motorsport. Lycka til, Petter! (Sorry. Our Norwegian doesn’t exist, but figured that Swedish would work. It’s the thought that counts, right?)
…Though we know that you will be (aggressively) seeking funding for a return to some Jerry Matt lovin’.
…Don’t deny it. No worries. Incentive is incentive. Your secret is safe with us.
For more information on Petter Solberg…
Petter Solberg Official Site / Petter Solberg on Facebook
Petter Solberg on Twitter / Petter Solberg YouTube Channel
-hitchcockblonde
Petter “The Petter” Solberg. The ultimate Viking of the World Rally Championship. A man who may not be able to identify an iron or ironing board, but can identify a flatiron (knowledge which may be credited to super Swede wife, Pernilla). Through ups and downs, wins and kangaroo hits, the passionate Norwegian maintains threat status, forging ahead, armed with enthusiasm and motivated by a pure love of rally. And dance. Oh, yes. Dance. A former competitive disco inferno on the dance floor, Solberg can be counted on to turn any WRC event into a party, packing designated dancing shoes in the certainty that there will be fun to be had. A good guy with some bad luck, Solberg is the ultimate underdog. The guy who has what it takes, remains reliable, and is loved by all, with his fingertips (always) on the grand prize, just out of full grasp, but without a doubt in anyone’s mind that the glory will be his (again) one day.
Until that day, the Viking can be expected to create more excitement, start more parties, plunder more experience, have more fun, and seek out more hetero life partner lovin’ from Jerry Matt (despite having to return the long-running relationship to long-distance status).
Happy birthday, Mr Solberg!
(We hope someone sent you a very large cake with Jerry Matt inside!)
-hitchcockblonde
After two-ish years with MINI, working under various names, through partial schedules, and attempting to develop a John Cooper Works car ready for World Rally Championship competition, Dani Sordo (ESP/co-driver Carlos del Barrio-ESP) is heading back to Citroën. Under the light of the partial schedule of lead driver Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) as he moseys his way off into the sunset of new challenges, the French factory WRC team was looking for some fresh buns to throw into a preheated DS3 for a full run in 2013. And, as the 2012 season came to a close, it was down to two pairs of cheeks: those of Sordo and those of Norwegian super privateer Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE). Oh, the non-drama of speculation that followed. Would they take a chance on Østberg, who, though undeniably (if not a bit freakishly) talented, would be moving from a Ford Fiesta to a DS3 and would require an adjustment period? Or, would they go with Sordo, who was familiar both to the team and with the car, having spent his career with Citroën and in Citroëns (until given the opportunity to develop the MINI WRC Team and JCW car)? Well, to make a short non-story even shorter, they went with the safe bet. And unfortunate dancing broke out at Cookies & Gold Stars.
Why?
There are several reasons. The first being that Sordo has been underutilised and dragged through the MINI mess for two years, competing in (only) 14 WRC races (out of 26), including his 2012 Argentina seat-filler run for Ford (covering for Jerry Matt Latvala-FIN/co-driver Miika Anttila-FIN, who was unable to make the round after breaking his left collarbone whilst rolling the Nordic out of Nordic skiing). In the WRC rallies he was able to take part in, he appeared to be (constantly) hampered by mechanical issues, his driving skills taking him to third place once and second place twice. Which says a lot about the talent behind the wheel, when the car is troublesome and the driver spends a lot of time out of the game. Though it has been fun to see the spectacular Spaniard speed through the stages in the cutest car of the WRC (don’t even bother trying to deny this one, let us just declare it an empirical fact), Sordo is a hardworking, dedicated, experienced talent who deserves and has earned a competitive seat with a competitive team.
Not to say that Østberg is any less worthy. He is. Østberg is a threat to everyone, a reliable, steady pilot who will get the job done, either nabbing a podium spot or just missing it and forcing the leaders to fight for their places. And M-Sport knows this. With the departure of Ford as a factory team, M-Sport is picking up the pieces and putting together a superteam of privateers. Though Østberg has been running as a full privateer, operating under his family’s Adapta title and working out all his own logistics with his team, his use of a Fiesta fostered a close relationship with the factory Ford team and M-Sport. Like Sordo (with Citroën), M-Sport and Østberg (already) have mutual familiarity (as a team and with the car), eliminating awkward and rough transitions and jump-starting a competitive season. M-Sport has an interest, Østberg has the financial backing, it would be an ideal situation. Though, to be honest, as difficult as it is for privateers, we would love to see Østberg turn Adapta into a truly competitive team. It just seems that, given his success, there is this rare opportunity to turn this little family operation into something really special. But, this is simply silly speculation. The point is that Østberg has more opportunities than Sordo (at this point), whether they be with another team or continuing his success on his own (which is an impressive feat), whereas Sordo, being loyal, would continue with Prodrive. Need we say more (especially given MINI’s exit as a manufacturer)?
And the final reason for the unfortunate dancing is a personal one. The last time there was big news regarding Sordo (when he was announced as Jerry Matt’s replacement at Argentina 2012), our editor-in-chief was so distracted that she locked her keys in her car for the first time in her life. Yes. There really is a first time for everything. No matter how hard one tries to avoid it. Thanks to a combination of excitement and dehydration, breaking for water during an obnoxious 20+ mile trail run resulted in the resounding click of a door, widened eyes, pulling, pushing, sliding, crawling, climbing, fumbling, breaking the lock of the passenger door with a bobby pin (ensuring it never opens from the outside again until fixed), and (eventually) police intervention…
…No sports writers were harmed in this round of Sordo excitement. And that is reason enough to dance!
Congratulations to Dani Sordo and Carlos del Barrio on their return home!
And congratulations to Citroën on winning the 2013 Manufacturers’ Championship!
(Shall we just go ahead and be honest on that one? Citroën is, having announced that Sordo and Mikko Hirvonen-FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN will be operating as equals in 2013. Which translates to meaning business before the season has even kicked off. Especially when one remembers that Loeb will still be competing in several rallies.)
-hitchcockblonde
R A L L Y R A C C – R A L L Y D E E S P A Ñ A
[ 8 N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 2 – 1 1 N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
Well…that (about) sums it up. Our work is done (here).
Ah, well, as it is the grand finale of the 2012 World Rally Championship season…
Welcome to Spain and the 2012 RallyRACC-Rally de España. This is it. The end. The final event of the season. 13 of 13. The grand finale. The cherry on the top of the loaded ice cream sundae that has been the 2012 WRC season. There has been dramatic domination, disappointing falls, last chance rebounds, an uprising of young threats, and, well, rain. Insane amounts of rain. Rain in places where the possibility is never a worry. Rain here, rain there, rain flooding out rally routes everywhere. And, yet, not enough moisture in the air to keep winter tyres from sparking on the gravel at Rally Sweden. The year was backward, yet forward, with drivers pushing through the adverse conditions as teams and the league plotted and prepared for big changes in 2013.
2012 was the year of Citroën hetero life partners Sébastien Loeb (FRA) and Daniel Elena (MCO), who breezed through the calendar, taking eight of 12 events and losing only two to retirement, clenching the Drivers’ and Co-Drivers’ Championships with a win at Loeb’s home rally, Rally de France-Alsace. Right behind them, their new teammates, the bromantically amusing Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) and Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN), who found themselves bridesmaids to Loeb and Elena’s serial brides through the season, overcoming the obstacles of a new car, a new team, and a loss of podium glory at Rally de Portugal (courtesy of illegal parts found in post-event scrutineering) before (finally) taking a win at Rally Italia-Sardegna.
On the flip-side of the coin of fortune were the Ford team of (driver) Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN) and (co-driver) Miikka Anttila (FIN) and their new teammates (driver) Petter Solberg (NOR) and (co-driver) Chris Patterson (GBR). Latvala, who started the season off with a crash into a highly impressive parking spot, but out of Monte-Carlo before winning Sweden, crashing out of Mexico in the final stages, crashing out of Portugal (though, he did show those rocks who was boss with some necessary kicking and throwing), and crashing himself out of Argentina (before even getting there) after rolling the ‘Nordic’ out of ‘Nordic skiing’ and breaking his left collarbone while he was at it. Though he would continue to crash and cry over his bad luck in typically temperamental Finnish fashion (turned up to 11), he would (also) bounce back, having used his time out to see the forest for the trees, focus on getting through the forest without hitting the trees, remember that it is all a learning experience, and that breathing is (always) a good idea. His rebound would nab him five podium results, impressive finishes in even his more troublesome (more crashtastic) events, and one very welcomed win at Wales Rally GB, turning that breathing into one, big sigh of relief. For Solberg, however, the season was a different story. After a strong start, taking third at Monte-Carlo, fighting fellow Fiesta-driving Viking Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE) to the very end for third (before a puncture landed him in fourth) at Sweden, taking third at Mexico, emerging from a similar crash to Jerry Matt’s at Portugal to take fourth – which became third after Hirvonen was excluded, and so on, Solberg started to show signs of having caught Jerry Matt’s disappointed attitude, running into problems, pouting, and waving off any reporters who dared to brave his dark cloud. Like Hirvonen, Solberg was fighting the obstacles of a new team and a new car and seeing a bit of monotony in his successes (Hirvonen and Solberg: Number 2 and Number 3, assassins of the WRC). But, unlike Hirvonen, Solberg was not finding his rhythm. With the Ford Scandinavians, feeding off one-another, driving in panicked desperation and drowning in their lowest lows, it was clear that this was the year of Citroën. And the up and comers.
The troubles of Ford may have jeopardized their own existence of a team, but it paved the way for the future stars of the WRC. And, as the saying goes, the future is now. As teams go into Rally de España, the top ten of the Drivers’ Championship standings is a celebration of youth. Holding steady in third is 25-year-old Østberg, holding his own against the manufacturer-backed cars in his privately-powered Fiesta, balancing aggressive driving with careful budgeting, cautiously taking care of his car and even having to give New Zealand a miss in the name of preserving funds. Making faces behind the back of 37-year-old fifth-place factory driver Solberg (in sixth) is 22-year-old M-Sport-backed Evgeny Novikov (RUS), who has battled himself all season, his name becoming synonymous not just with crashing, but for pulling himself out of those crashes and forging ahead, often in a horrifyingly destroyed car, occasionally driving while peering past a windscreen-friendly bonnet. And that will to go on has paid off, with mechanics (often) able to perform miracles (which others might not even bother to think possible) and get the team back on the road in time for the next stage. However, after recovering from a crash at Finland, the rough roads took their toll on co-driver Denis Giraudet (FRA), who came away requiring surgery to repair back injuries incurred in the fight. Novikov would compete alongside Nicolas Klinger (FRA) at Rallye Deutschland before settling in for the remainder of the season with Ilka Minor (AUT). Crashes and co-driver changes – and Novikov (still) remains in sixth. Right behind Novikov sits 24-year-old Citroën Junior mint Thierry Neuville (BEL/co-driver Nicolas Gilsoul-BEL) in seventh and 25-year-old M-Sport-backed Ott Tänak (EST/co-driver Kuldar Sikk-EST) poking the other two with his cane in eighth. Not bad for a group of meddling kids, eh?
And the list of moments that have made the 2012 season so fantastic goes on. But, before we draw the curtains on this round, we do have the grand finale to address. So, what can we expect?
Who will be there?
When one refers to Rally de España as a grand finale, it may come off as a dramatic exaggeration. However, in this case, it is far from. Because this is an event of lasts, of ends of eras, and of the WRC as we have come to know and have gotten cosy with. Though every season holds new change, the amount of change which will be seen in 2013 will be so dramatic that it will be on par with entering a new world.
Rally de España will be the final run for the Ford World Rally Team. As hard as that is to even try to wrap one’s brain around, it is very much fact. When the 2013 season opens in Monte-Carlo, there will be no Ford WRT to compete with. That said, this will be the dissolution of a family for Jerry Matt, who has spent his career with the team, (finally) working his way to team lead this year (after the departure of Hirvonen). Although Jerry Matt has secured a place with Volkswagen, always a speeding car on a twisting, turning emotional rollercoaster, Spain should prove to be a wild ride for the Finn, who enters the round in a Drivers’ Championship fight for third with Østberg (who leads by four points) and can be expected to push. Which translates to the potential for excitability. This is Jerry Matt’s final exam on all he has learned this season. Starting with breathing. Which he should have been practicing with teammate Solberg, who is expected to return to running as a privateer next season, with rumours of M-Sport backing swirling round. A highly unfortunate situation for the Norwegian, who has to end his return to factory support without the opportunity to settle in and realise all that potential he demonstrated this season. For better or for worse, all bets should be placed on Solberg going out with a bang.
Also exiting the WRC (after this round) will be MINI. Yes, after all of two years of half-assed competition and dragging their drivers along with them like a kid with a toy they don’t care for, but refuse to give up, MINI is leaving the WRC. Not that those adorable MINIs will not continue to race. They will. As MINI will continue to produce cars for competitive use. Which, in hindsight, is (probably) why MINI started racing under The Team Formerly Known as MINI/(sign)/Prodrive. And, it is likely that MINI Portugal will follow in their footsteps, making a full separation from the manufacturer in backing and running with their Motorsport Italia backer. Just a speculation, of course. But, with so many crazy changes coming, one can claim whatever pops into their head and sell it at this time. MINI will be hitting Spain hard, with both MINI Portugal cars running, Paulo Nobre (BRA/co-driver Edu Paula-BRA) and Chris Atkinson (AUS/co-driver Glenn Macneall-NZL), and two Prodrive cars on the entry list, led by home rally stars (driver) Dani Sordo (ESP) and Carlos del Barrio (ESP) and adding two Jarkkos: (driver) Jarkko Nikara (FIN) and (co-driver) Jarkko Kalliolepo (FIN). Because…if you want to win, hire a Finn?
(Is it even legal to have two Jarkkos in one vehicle? Bygones. Let scrutineering worry about that.)
Yet another impending exit will be that of the Qatar WRT partnership with Citroën. Which should not come as that much of a surprise, given lead Nasser Al-Attiyah (QAT/co-driver Giovanni Bernacchini-ITA) has been driving a Fiesta in non-WRC challenges, not to mention the earlier non-controversy over comments that Qatar would be taking over the French factory team, which was canned shortly after upon the announcement that Abu Dhabi would be partnering with Citroën. Did you get all of that? No? No worries. It doesn’t matter. The important note (here) is that Qatar will be running one car at Rally de España, piloted by Hans Weijs (NDL/co-driver Bjorn Degant-NDL) while Al-Attiyah trains for the 2013 Dakar (which takes place in January).
Spain will (also) be the final resting place of the Škoda Fabia S2000s used by Volkswagen Motorsport as they prepared their Polo for full WRC competition in 2013. Taking the wheel will be Sébastien Ogier (FRA/co-driver Julien Ingrassia-FRA) and Andreas “every rally is car show model work for me” Mikkelsen (NOR/co-driver Mikko Markkula-FIN). Mikkelsen, who is just coming off becoming the first driver to win consecutive Intercontinental Rally Challenge titles, will be driving with the added incentive (yes, incentive) of uncertainty, as VW has yet to decide what they are going to do with the Ogier sidekicks they have accumulated (now that they have signed the highly/sadly/entertainingly Ogier-kickable Jerry Matt). It would be a sad day for (what appears to be the majority of) female WRC fans if Mikkelsen were to be dropped. So, not wanting to make girls cry, it is certain that the Viking will be pushing for a perfectly driven run. Which may or may not entail listening to the advice of his new navigator on the subject of parking…
Also driving in uncertainty will be Tänak, whose name has been floating around in the context of disappointment. Rumour has it that M-Sport is less than satisfied with the Estonian’s performance and is considering dropping their support of the privateer. Odd, as he sits in a respectable eighth in the Drivers’ Championship standings, keeps getting stronger, has started winning stages, is a constant threat at the top, and just took second at Rally d’Italia. But, the WRC is a tough place. One day, you are fighting under a factory team; the next, you are a privateer starting from square one. Tänak will be fighting for backing at Spain. And, he can be expected to give everyone a run for their money.
Tänak’s teammate Novikov will be participating at Rally de España. But, not as Tänak’s teammate. Due to an agreement with DMACK Tyres, Novikov will be running alongside DMACK-backed Martin Prokop (CZE), under Autotek, in car #22. Which is a bit odd, being the final event of the season and all. But, it is what it is and what it is just happens to be financing and support in the world of rally. Same driver, same co-driver (Minor will continue to navigate), now with more Novikov. Filling the M-Sport seat warmed by Novikov and Minor will be the jammin’ Caribbean team of (driver) John Powell (TTO) and (co-driver) Michael Fennell (JAM).
And, if you think the list of lasts ends there, you’ve got another thing coming. As we must not forget that this is the final full season for Loeb, who will be moving onto other motoring adventures, seeking new challenges, and (more than likely) conquering other forms of motorsport. Though the 9000-time Drivers’ Championship winner will only be taking part in a handful of WRC competitions next year, he will continue a relationship with the manufacturer which he has spent his career with and fight for the WRC team with the same enthusiasm which has gotten him to where he is today. Though the end is near, it is far from over. Loeb remains the one to beat at Spain.
Cripes, that was a lot of information. Most of it, useless. Will anyone else of note be in attendance?
Yes. Being the last hurrah of the season, this is a WRC, SWRC, PWRC, and WRC Academy event. So everyone and their mother will be there. On that note, your mum called. She will be there. She wants to see “I could pilot Viking ships on the silver screen” Mikkelsen and that spicy Spaniard, Sordo. Better check on her. She told us that she heard Jerry Matt was single. Then, she growled like a cougar.
Who will not be there?
Your dad. Conveniently.
Ken Block (USA/co-driver Alex Gelsomino-ITA). The insanely busy American will (probably) be back for a run or a few next season. (Fun fact: Americans don’t sleep or take holidays, they just work and think about work. Hence the fast food addiction, general hostility, and inability to grasp the concept behind “When in Rome”.) So get over it.
As noted, Nasser Al-Attiyah will be giving Spain a miss, as it conflicts with his Dakar training schedule. Also missing will be co-drivers Ola Fløene (NOR/driver Andreas Mikkelsen-NOR), Stéphane Prévot (BEL/driver Chris Atkinson-AUS), Denis Giraudet (FRA/driver Evgeny Novikov-RUS), and Zdeněk Hrůza (CZE/driver Martin Prokop-CZE). Fløene has retired from co-driving for Mikkelsen in the name of guiding young drivers in need of some help. The duo ran their final race together in Cyprus, during which Fløene took the wheel in the final stage and piloting the team to the end, where they took second place (overall). Rather like Al-Attiyah (with his commitments to the Olympics and the Dakar), the absence of Prévot will be due to commitments made prior to MINI Portugal offering a car to Atkinson and himself. As mentioned (earlier), Giraudet will remain out of action until he (fully) recovers from back surgery and receives clearance to return to those very roads which knocked him out of the game. And, as for Hrůza, the reasoning given was (quietly) filed under “family” as the team swiftly filled the navigator’s seat with Michael Ernst (CZE).
Sadly, this is (also) the end of the road for Swedish PWRC newcomers (driver) Ramona Karlsson and (co-driver) Miriam Walfridsson. After a fast-burning fire consumed their hot pink Mitsubishi Evo X during their podium run at Rally New Zealand, forcing the two to jump from the moving car and walk away with even more empty-handed than ever imagined, Karlsson and Walfridsson have been sidelined by a lengthy insurance process. Though Mitsubishi was able to loan them a car for Rally Deutschland, they were unable to make Italy as they waited for the red tape to clear. So, unfortunately, their season ended with a Day 1 exit from Germany. But, fortunately, these super Swedes have remained active in gaining and maintaining support and backing, with Mitsubishi standing by them as they take everything they have learned they hardest way possible in 2012 and put it into an experienced battle in 2013.
Unfortunately, it is looking as if PWRC driver Louise Cook (GBR/co-driver Stefan Davis-GBR) may be forced to give the final event of her inaugural season a miss. Taking on the rough gravel of Italy in a 2WD Fiesta proved to be too much for Cook, who made it to the end of the rally, but not intact. Similar to the situation Giraudet found himself in at Finland (with his back injury), the rocky roads aggravated an old injury, which resulted in a full break of a previously broken (and healed) collarbone by the time she arrived at the finish line. Cook was last seen with her left arm in a sling and no car in sight. Though nothing has been confirmed as of the publishing of this preview and the girl has proven to be a vicious fighter, this is not the best sign for the tenacious blonde in the pink-detailed Fiesta.
No, not the best of signs. It is, however, like with Karlsson and Walfridsson, a very good sign that the future holds amazing things for the hardworking Miss Louise Cook.
Oh, and Henning Solberg (NOR) was never heard from again. Well, not in 2012 (at least). Missing in action since his seventh-place run at Sweden, his absence from the WRC remains a bit of a mystery. And not for lack of any connections, as his co-driver, Minor has moved on (most recently navigating for Novikov) and his brother, Petter, enjoyed a wild ride at Ford. Whatever the case may be, it remains his business, but it is clear that many are concerned and that the fan favourite is dearly missed.
Now that we know who will be there, what will run them off the road?
Let us start with Dani Sordo and Carlos del Barrio. Though this may have been a partial season, with ongoing alterations to his MINI hampering any steady dominance (not to mention catching a bout of bad luck from Latvala’s car whilst filling in for the Finn at Argentina), the Spaniard remains a solid driver. And this is the home rally of Sordo and del Barrio. Always watch the native drivers. They not only want to do their best and impress, they are driven by a strong will not to screw up in front of their home crowd. Unlike so many rally drivers, Sordo is a strong, confident tarmac driver. And, it just so happens that his home rally is a tarmac-gravel split. Intriguing, is it not?
Moving onto Loeb. This is it for Loeb. Though he has (already) clenched the Drivers’ Championship and Citroën has (already) found a nice place for their Manufacturers’ Championship trophy, Loeb remains Loeb. And Loeb loves a challenge. Many will be pushing through Spain and, as relaxed as he may be, Loeb will not be able to resist pushing right along with them, intrigued by the prospect of winning the final event of his final full season with the WRC. Never take your eyes away from Loeb. Even when he is retired. Because, you just never know. He’s really that good.
Ford. Ford will want to come away with something, if only to end their run on a high note. On top of the team effort, Jerry Matt will be wanting to mark the end of his career with Ford with success, looking good for VW and showing Ogier (whom Jerry Matt will be working under) that he can hold his own while he is at it. Solberg will be fighting hard in his final battle for the win that remains so elusive to him. And, by nature, he is a fighter. Made even tougher by years of privateering. Despite such an uneven season, Solberg remains a force to be reckoned with. Like any good athlete, he falls, he picks himself back up, only to repeat the cycle over and over again. Then, one day, there is no fall. Any rally could be that rally in which everything goes perfectly. So, why not Spain?
As mentioned, Spain is a mixed surface event, a cumulative test of everything drivers have learned over the course of the season. And, as so many drivers struggle with sealed-surface driving, the roads of Spain should make life just a tad more interesting for everyone, forcing them to switch their thinking from one way of driving to the other and back (again) quickly. In other words, it will be a challenge of control and thinking ahead. Which, in turn, can be read as “a rally of freak-outs”. Oh, and tyre choices. Which will cause more freak-outs. Which will manage to be boring, annoying, and hilarious all at once. Isn’t Spain delicious?
Right. What else? Well, it has yet to be confirmed as to whether or not drivers will be required to dress as matadors through this event. Nor has anything been announced regarding sending cars out to run with bulls or whether there will be an Extra Super Special Stage, during which drivers will take part in a little bull fighting. Because, while Spain may be attempting to move away from bull fighting, this is a special occasion. There are (also) bound to be geckos running around in cars, random fiestas, random siestas, sudden overwhelming feelings of inferiority to Spaniards, thoughts of Penélope Cruz, thoughts of Javier Bardem, drunk British tourists (you know it’s true), and no one ever, after all this time, expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Oh, and girls, girls, girls. Thank “I could be a pop star without being able to carry a tune” Mikkelsen and (Twitter votes are in and third parties do count – everybody thank Gemma for this one…) “that most adorable creature who ever slid a car sideways” Jerry Matt for that screechy obstacle.
(Tell your mum to put her boobs back in her leopard-print top and stop growling. It’s making everyone uncomfortable. Like…Magda, from There’s Something About Mary. No, no bueno.)
There you have it. The grand finale that will be RallyRACC-Rally de España. The 2012 WRC season has been a wild one, full of twists and turns, ups and downs, surprises around every corner, steadiness that became so predictable that it was surprising, and a ridiculous amount of rain. And, sadly, it was (also) the end of the road for several competitors, with two manufacturers set to take their bows at the closing ceremony in Spain and several drivers, saying their goodbyes to teams they have spent their careers with. Though a final race may seem a breeze, with many championship places set and all eyes looking ahead, Rally de España will not be an easy exit to get through. It will be a cumulative examination of everything teams have learned over the course of the season, forcing them to switch between surfaces and maneuver both with equal precision. And, the course will be littered with obstacles ranging from bull runs to bad tyre choices to rogue mums, looking to get the attention of young, Norse competitors. But, all obstacle-induced frustration aside, it will be a spectacular show of talent and a fond farewell to those exiting. All of which are sure to make Rally de España the grandest of grand finales.
Now…
¿Dónde están mis pantalones?
. . . . . . .
2012 RALLYRACC – RALLY DE ESPAÑA SCHEDULE
(From the RallyRACC – Rally de España Official Site)
THURSDAY / 8 NOVEMBER / 2.94KM
Qualifying Stage / 2.94km
FRIDAY / 9 NOVEMBER / 150.22KM
Special Stage 1 / Gandesa / 7.00km
Special Stage 2 / Pesells 1 / 26.59km
Special Stage 3 / Terra Alta 1 / 44.02km
Special Stage 4 / Pesells 2 / 26.59km
Special Stage 5 / Terra Alta 2 / 44.02km
Special Stage 6 / Salou / 2.00km
SATURDAY / 10 NOVEMBER / 161.30KM
Special Stage 7 / La Mussara 1 / 20.48km
Special Stage 8 / El Priorat 1 / 45.97km
Special Stage 9 / Riba-roja d’Ebre 1 / 14.20km
Special Stage 10 / La Mussara 2 / 20.48km
Special Stage 11 / El Priorat 2 / 45.97km
Special Stage 12 / Riba-roja d’Ebre 2 / 14.20km
SUNDAY / 11 NOVEMBER / 93.94KM
Special Stage 13 / Riudecanyes 1 / 16.35km
Special Stage 14 / Santa Marina 1 / 26.51km
Special Stage 15 / La Serra d’Almos 1 / 4.11km
Special Stage 16 / Riudecanyes 2 / 16.35km
Special Stage 17 / Santa Marina 2 / 26.51km (Power Stage)
Special Stage 18 / La Serra d’Almos 2 / 4.11km
TOTALS
18 Stages
405.06 competitive kilometres
1391.73 total kilometres
. . . . . . .
For more thorough updates and information…
RallyRACC – Rally de España Official Site / WRC Official Site – Rally RACC-Rally de España
RallyRACC – Rally de España on Twitter
…and, a few team resources…
Citroën WRC Official Site / Citroën Racing on Twitter
Citroën Racing on Facebook / Citroën WRT on YouTube
Ford WRC Official Site / Ford WRC on Twitter
Ford WRC on Facebook / Ford WRC on YouTube
MINI Motorsport Official Site / MINI Motorsport on Twitter
MINI Motorsport on Facebook / MINI Motorsport on YouTube
Volkswagen Motorsport Official Site / Volkswagen Motorsport on Facebook
Volkswagen Motorsport on YouTube
-hitchcockblonde
2 0 1 2 G L O B A L R A L L Y C R O S S C H A M P I O N S H I P
S E M A , L A S V E G A S , N E V A D A
[ 3 0 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 ]
For more information on Global Rallycross Championship…
GLOBAL RALLYCROSS CHAMPIONSHIP OFFICIAL SITE
-hitchcockblonde
2 0 1 2 R A L L Y I T A L I A S A R D E G N A
1 8 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 – 2 1 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2
Rally Italia Sardegna 2012. Day 3. And so the bizarreness continues.
Due to the nature of the schedule, rather than running as a standard penultimate day of a World Rally Championship event through which teams make their final push for podium and points, this penultimate day ran as a sort of three-for-one special. With only two stages on the plate for Sunday’s grand finale, the six stages of Saturday had to be utilised as a position-holding race to the finish line for the top three, a last-chance battle among those looking to advance in the top ten and those looking to redeem themselves after retiring in Friday, and as a Paulo Nobre day for those named “Paulo Nobre” (BRA/co-driver Edu Paula-BRA). For those hoping for early release from their padded cells, the day would prove to be a heartbreaking disappointment. But, for those who quite enjoy rolling around in the white, colouring on the walls with oversized crayons held between their toes, Saturday was quite the utensil-free treat.
Fortunately, rally fans tend to fall under the latter category. So, let’s break this one down. Straightjacket breakdance-style.
OK, Group 1: the position holders. Going into Saturday, there were three teams which managed to conquer the carnage of Friday, driving steadily all the way to the top three. And those podium positions were firmly in place, with Citroën silly boy Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN) leading the way, followed M-Sport keg-lifting champion Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Ilka Minor-AUT) and his shiny-happy teammate Ott Tänak (EST/co-driver Kuldar Sikk-EST). All these crazy perfectionists had to do was stay on the road, note the times of their competitors, and keep moving at an even pace in order to secure the podium. And prove that blondes did, in fact, have more fun at Rally Italia Sardegna 2012. Which is (always) an important cause worth fighting for. And, clearly, what drove the three to take a tortoise-theory approach to the day, with only Novikov winning a stage (SS10) and Hirvonen and Tänak (each) popping up in the top four of (only) half of the stages. All three painted a portrait of self-restraint amidst the temptation of the penultimate day push mindset. But, with victory so close that they could (almost) taste Monday (Tuesday, Wednesday, Christmas) morning’s hair of the dog, a little denial of fun was more than worth it for the blondes.
On the opposite end of the spectrum was Group 2, those who took the standard approach to the penultimate day, making their final pushes toward the top ten, elbowing their way up the points scale. And, of those who fall into this category, there were two (major) parties waging and raging: those fighting for fourth and those fighting to bounce back from early retirement. Not that there were many of those of any significance to report.
The fight for fourth was, with little doubt, the battle of the day. Going into the day, Volkswagen’s Sébastien Ogier (FRA/co-driver Julien Ingrassia-FRA) appeared to have a pretty firm grasp on that coveted fourth place. Ogier had come out of Friday as the surprise of the day, having beaten the odds, firing his Škoda Fabia S2000 through the stages, leaving powerful WRC-class cars to bob confusedly in his wake as he won Stage 5 and blasted up the standings. But, as Friday was (still, technically) Acclimation Day, as Saturday rolled around, other teams were prepared to fight the Volkswagen underdog with a better feel for their surroundings and more appropriate setups to maneuver the roads with. Ogier, on the other hand, made unfortunate tyre choices (opting to tote two spares) and a detrimental alteration to his car (swapping out gearboxes), which resulted in slowing himself down through the day. As the Petra-imprisoned Grail-guardian knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade would say, “He chose poorly”. And so a fight for fourth began.
As the sun peeked over the Mediterranean, scattering daylight through the island clouds of Sardinia, MINI Portugal’s Chris Atkinson (AUS/co-driver Stéphane Prévot-BEL) found himself in a Volkswagen sandwich, sitting between Ogier (in fourth) and teammate Andreas “I ran the Oslo Marathon in slow motion for the ladies” Mikkelsen (in sixth), with Adapta points-plundering Viking Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE) hovering like a vulture in seventh. So, like an eager vulture, circling in anticipation, as soon as Ogier showed signs of slowing, Østberg swooped in for domination. And dominate, he did, winning four of the six stages of the day (Stages 9, 11, 12, and 14) and coming in second and third in the remaining stages (Stages 10 and 13, respectively). By the end of the final stage (Stage 14), Østberg had overtaken both Atkinson and Ogier, securing the honourable mention spot as he headed into Sunday’s final two stages and reminding everyone that the Zoolander paraphrase stands:
Mads. He’s so hot (right now). Mads.
Further down the standings, and with not so much as a glimpse of the podium in sight, were those who fell victim to the overexcitement of Friday. Hanging onto the hope that they could climb their way back into points position, Ford gatecrasher Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN), teammate Petter “the petter” Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR), and Qatar seat-saver Thierry Neuville (BEL/co-driver Nicolas Gilsoul-BEL) would spend Saturday, finding and riding a fine line between pushing for points and losing everything to repeat disaster. And it would be no small feat for the trio, with Neuville starting the day in 32nd, Jerry Matt in 25th, and Solberg (saved only by exiting late in the day) in 10th. But, all parties took advantage of the situation, turned lemons into Limoncello, and gave the entire roster a shove from behind. Jerry Matt would join Østberg as shining star of the day, winning Stage 13 coming in second in Stages 9, 11, 12, and 14, and third in Stage 10, before landing in 15th as the day came to an end. Solberg made his own mark by scoring second in Stage 13 and third in Stages 12 and 14, advancing one spot, settling into a points-friendly (overall) ninth. Neuville managed to sneak into fourth in Stages 13 and 14, ending the day in 21st. Not bad for a guy running difficult roads in a borrowed car he was steering with burned hands, eh?
And, then, there was the third category of racing. The Paulo Nobre class. Paulo Nobre always seems to be the star of his own rally. Never (really) posing a threat to the podium, often crashing or falling victim to mechanical failures, sometimes getting back on the road, sometimes not, he can always be counted on to face all obstacles with enthusiasm. Nobre has become as famous for his colourful commentary as he has for his flamboyant style (both driving and personal), making him a crowd favourite, with fans around every bend, ready to help get The Little Green Pig back on the road when needed. Starting Saturday in 22nd place, with his MINI on the mend (after experiencing some overheating as Friday wrapped up), it was just another day in the enviably cool office for Nobre, spinning and stalling in Stage 12 and testing the performance of the Pig on two wheels in Stage 13. As eventful as the day was for Nobre, The Little Green Pig and its passengers managed to advance to (overall) 19th by the end of the day. Possibly thanks in part to a little boost from one very unexpected fan:
Sébastien Loeb.
Yes. Even though Hirvonen, Novikov, and Tänak were on top, with a full-on, flat-out battle for fourth waging amongst Ogier, Atkinson, and Østberg, and Østberg and Jerry Matt dominating the day, it was Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) who managed to steal the show. After crashing his DS3 into retirement in Stage 3, the 2012 Drivers’ Championship winning Citroën pilot decided to make the most of his time in Sardinia, tacking some extra motocross time onto the holiday he had (already) factored into his stay. Whilst exploring the area on bike, tackling the very same terrain which had ended his Rally Italia Sardegna bid on two wheels, rather than four, Loeb could not resist stopping in for some spectating. But, despite hovering under the cover of a visored helmet and moto gear in a sea of fans, the rally enthusiast was soon sniffed out when he was unable to contain his interest in and support of his fellow drivers. Drivers like Nobre, who (despite his being a fan favourite having turned him into a bit of a star, himself) had no idea they were on the history-making, bar-raising Frenchman’s radar. Note to drivers: you are on Loeb’s radar. And that is (exactly) how you get to where Loeb is (today). Know your competition, then make it friendly. Having faith in everyone’s abilities is a tremendously underrated motivator. Embrace the paranoia and, one day, you, too, may be able to turn an early exit into a fun holiday and be recognized through a motocross helmet. Oh, and, being Sébastien Loeb may help matters a tad. Minor details.
And so the Saturday special on action ends, with every driver having taken the approach most appropriate for their Rally d’Italia goals. Those who battled through for their lives would walk away, knowing they had done what they could to get to where they wanted to be. Whether those targets were hit or not, it was clear that everyone had put their all into fighting to get there, risking everything on the slippery glorified mountain bike trails of Sardinia and living to learn from those tales. For those who had fought back from retirement, it was a day of turning lemons to Limoncello, clawing their way back up the standings, calling it what it was, and using every stage as a lesson to be used in the grand scheme of their careers. And for the blondes at the top (the natural habitat of blondes, those with major roots and self-esteem down to the fitted sheet, aside), who had worked to hold onto their positions, resisting every natural urge to put their foot down for a classic penultimate day fight, podium glory would be down to surviving Sunday. It all comes down to two stages. Better hold on tight to those oversized crayons. Because, if there is one lesson to be learned from this event (thus far), it is that anything can happen to and for anyone.
…And that Sébastien Loeb can mail in his domination. A lesson not to be ignored next season.
…Oh, and that Miikka Anttila not only does speak (outside his navigational narrations), he is quite well-spoken.
(Maybe chugalug Jerry Matt should take more coffee breaks. If that is even possible. Coffee is good.)
DAY 3 RESULTS BY STAGE
(From the World Rally Championship Official Site)
SS9 / COILUNA-LOELLE 1 / 29.35KM
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
SS10 / MONTE DI ALA’ 1 / 14.49KM
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
SS12 / COILUNA-LOELLE 2 / 29.35KM
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
SS13 / MONTE DI ALA’ 2 / 14.49KM
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Thierry Neuville (BEL) / Nicolas Gilsoul (BEL) – Qatar WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Thierry Neuville (BEL) / Nicolas Gilsoul (BEL) – Qatar WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
. . . . . . .
For details on the 2012 Rally Italia Sardegna (18.10.2012-21.10.2012)…
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Site / WRC Official Site – Rally Italia Sardegna
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Facebook Page / Rally Italia Sardegna on Twitter
-hitchcockblonde
2 0 1 2 R A L L Y I T A L I A S A R D E G N A
1 8 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 – 2 1 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2
Welcome aboard Rally Italia Sardegna 2012, Day 2. Your exits are here…
…here…
…here…
…and, here…
To classify the events which occurred throughout Day 2 of Rally d’Italia 2012 as “unbelievable” would be the gross understatement of the 2012 World Rally Championship season, if not of the history of the WRC. Not since the terror of the flooded roads of Portugal 2012 has the WRC community witnessed such extraordinary carnage. The differences being that this was all in one day and under optimal conditions. Although it is not uncommon to experience some vehicular bumps and bruises through the first (full) day of competition (Acclimation Day) whilst getting a feel for the roads and conditions, a lack of pressure to preserve points (as the Championships had been won at Rallye de France-Alsace) and sudden urges to to throw caution to the wind in the name of event wins created a more daring, less controlled, every-man-for-himself, frenzied atmosphere. Or, so it would seem, judging by the performances. Whatever the case, by the end of the day, the game had changed, with doors wide open for anyone to burst through in a bid for the win.
So, what happened?
Small mistakes. Blink-of-an-eye simple mistakes. Simple as that. For Citroën leader Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO), who was coming off winning both Rallye de France-Alsace and the Drivers’ Championship and heading up the standings going into the day, it was a mistake in the pace notes. A slight miscalculation made in translating recce notes to race directions resulted in the #1 DS3 clipping a rock, spinning, and, upon coming to a stop, discovering that they had trashed a wheel and destroyed the steering in the opening stage (Stage 3). Loeb and Elena would not only retire for the day, as the hours progressed, it would become apparent that they would be making an early exit from the entire rally. As one door closed for Loeb, another door opened for another driver.
Qatar WRT seat-filler Thierry Neuville (BEL/co-driver Nicolas Gilsoul-BEL) would not, however, be that driver. For Neuville, it was not an error in notes which brought his day to an early end, but an error in listening to Gilsoul as he read those notes. The Belgian reported losing focus and zoning out for a moment whilst maneuvering that very same Stage 3. But, in rally, a sport in which events can be one in fractions of a second, moments are everything. And, unfortunately for Neuville and Gilsoul, like the warning in an anti-texting and driving public service announcement, that moment was just long enough to roll the car. Not only did the team lose time whilst getting the car back on its wheels, they would retire from the day after Neuville suffered rather serious burns to his hands in their efforts to right the DS3. While Neuville and Gilsoul were good to continue, so far as the car was concerned, the pain of the burns turned out to be unmanageable when it came to driving. The pair would take the remainder of the day off, losing their podium bid before it had even began, opening another door to opportunity for someone else.
After starting the day in sixth place, the exits of first-place Loeb and fourth-place Neuville had bumped Ford’s Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN) up to a competitive fourth. However, that early opportunity to fight for the podium would be short-lived. Very short-lived. In an all-too familiar scenario, Jerry Matt and his heavy right foot slammed into a bank whilst making a high-speed turn, destroying the radiator of his Fiesta in the process. In a haze of sisu, the Finns forced the car on, only to find themselves heading into more trouble after Jerry Matt took his eyes off the road (to check on the radiator issue) just long enough to miss a junction, running the car into a gate post and early retirement. A traumatic turn for the (already) emotional Jerry Matt, who had just lost his team to a WRC exit, signed onto uncertain territory with Volkswagen, and was competing while under the weather. He was sick, he was sad, and (now, though eligible for restart) he was out of podium contention. And so another door opens.
And, it appeared that door to the top would be held open for Jerry Matt’s Viking teammate Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR), who was holding onto second and in strong contention for first. Up until he crashed out of Stage 7, that is. Although facing retirement for the day, exiting in stage seven of eight left the Norwegian in 10th place and (under the odd circumstances) still very much in the game when he restarts on Saturday. However, with his battle back to square one, once again, another door of opportunity had opened.
So, who took advantage of these opening doors?
Well, Citroën lead-in-training Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN), who started the day in second, inherited the lead when Loeb left the road. Recognizing the opportunity handed to him in the midst of widespread problems, the Finn managed to maintain focus, remain calm, stay on the road, and carry his lead to the end of the day. M-Sport beast Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Ilka Minor-AUT), who started the day in seventh, held on to place in the top three in all but one stage (Stage 3), winning stages 6 and 7, and ending the day securely in second. Landing right behind Novikov was his fellow M-Sport driver Ott Tänak (EST/co-driver Kuldar Sikk-EST), who started the day in ninth, but drove steadily (placing in the top four in half of the stages) all the way to the end.
But, no one was more surprising to see at the top than the man landing in (overall) fourth place: Volkswagen’s Sébastien Ogier (FRA/co-driver Julien Ingrassia-FRA). Though Ogier is more than qualified to compete at the top, having become quite familiar with podiums over the years, his move to Volkswagen has meant driving an underpowered Škoda Fabia S2000 whilst preparing to unleash VW’s WRC-class Polo in 2013. Which translates to practice making perfect, rather than pushing for podiums. And, while Ogier has managed to make an impact, often seen squeezing WRC cars out of the top ten, winning Stage 5 was so unexpected that it was unbelievable. In fact, the entire top-four lineup was so unbelievable that it is a pretty safe bet that (almost) everyone who was keeping track of the standings spent a significant amount of time, refreshing their screens and cross-referencing the information. And, quite possibly, looking up the two privateers who came in third and fourth: Giovanni Manfrinato (ITA/co-driver Flavio Zanella-ITA) and Karl Kruuda (EST/co-driver Martin Järveoja-EST). Now, looking at that lineup (Novikov took second), one may assume that it was a short stage, the circumstances under which allow for some surprises. But, no. Though not one of the long-hauls, Tergu-Osilo 1 was a full 14.88km. And, although the theory floating around that Ogier was able to conquer the stage thanks in part to S2000s being easier on tyres (as the stage has a reputation for extreme tyre wear), it should be noted that the stage (also) goes uphill. Which, as S2000s are less powerful, should have created a balance. The conclusion: watch out for Ogier in 2013. Especially as Volkswagen will have an in-house competition on their hands, having just signed Jerry Matt, to make life more interesting for everyone. Which is saying quite a lot, as not only did Ogier end the day in fourth, teammate Andreas “the model for male models” Mikkelsen (NOR/co-driver Ola Fløene-NOR) had climbed up from 11th to sixth by the time the sun disappeared over the settling dust of the day.
Well, that was the second day of Rally Italia Sardegna 2012. How was that for an interesting Acclimation Day?
You may go back to colouring on your white, padded walls, with crayons held between your toes (now).
DAY 2 RESULTS BY STAGE
(From the World Rally Championship Official Site)
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Sébastien Ogier (FRA) / Julien Ingrassia (FRA) – Volkswagen Motorsport
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Giovanni Manfrinato (ITA) / Flavio Zanella (ITA) – Giovanni Manfrinato
Karl Kruuda (EST) / Martin Järveoja (EST) – Karl Kruuda
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Sébastien Ogier (FRA) / Julien Ingrassia (FRA) – Volkswagen Motorsport
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Sébastien Ogier (FRA) / Julien Ingrassia (FRA) – Volkswagen Motorsport
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Ott Tänak (EST) / Kuldar Sikk (EST) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Sébastien Ogier (FRA) / Julien Ingrassia (FRA) – Volkswagen Motorsport
. . . . . . .
For details on the 2012 Rally Italia Sardegna (18.10.2012-21.10.2012)…
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Site / WRC Official Site – Rally Italia Sardegna
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Facebook Page / Rally Italia Sardegna on Twitter
-hitchcockblonde
2 0 1 2 R A L L Y I T A L I A S A R D E G N A
1 8 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2 – 2 1 O C T O B E R 2 0 1 2
Welcome to Rally Italia Sardegna 2012. And, welcome to Terranova 1 and 2, where World Rally Championship cars fly into the dimly-lit uncertainty of roads from (approximately) 85 million years in the past. But, before teams could get to those glorified trails of harsh Mediterranean gravel, they would have to survive the Qualifying Stage.
Qualifying. Hey, good news! As it turns out, all entrants were qualified to operate a motor vehicle. Excellent. In fact, MINI Portugal’s Paulo Nobre (BRA/co-driver Edu Paula-BRA) turned out to be a bit overqualified. In a burst of boredom, Nobre opted to take his MINI down a nonexistent road never travelled and rearrange some things on The Little Green Pig along the way. Unfortunately, the Brazilian got a little swept up in his off-roading and failed to make it back to the finish line in time. Or, at all. Fortunately, after crying “wee-wee-wee” all the way home, MINI mechanics were able to get Nobre, Paula, and The Pig back into the Rally Italia Sardegna market by the start of Stage 1.
On the far-less interesting end of the spectrum (from Nobre) was Ford’s Jerry Matt Latvala (FIN/co-driver Miikka Anttila-FIN). Continuing his streak of second chance luck, Jerry Matt bounced back from an unimpressive Free Practice run to top the Qualifying Stage. And, as a reward for his achievement, the Finn used his first-pick prize for self-abuse, opting to head out onto the gravel first. Which worked like a charm. Though Jerry Matt had chosen first under a dark cloud of concerns, preferring to take his chances on cleaning the roads, rather than on getting slowed down by the inevitable dust clouds kicked up by the speeding cars in a race against the setting sun, it was that debris encountered in uncertainty that (ultimately) kept him from making an impact on the standings. Jerry Matt would start his rally off by coming in fifth in the first run of Terranova and seventh as he looped around for Stage 2 (during which some hostile bedrock caused the front-left tyre of his Fiesta to lose the will to live), the cumulative result of which was an overall sixth to end the day.
Experiencing much better beginnings to Rally Italia Sardegna were the Citroën squad of Sébastien Loeb (FRA/co-driver Daniel Elena-MCO) and Mikko Hirvonen (FIN/co-driver Jarmo Lehtinen-FIN). Shocking as that may be. Loeb, who dominated Free Practice and came in third in Qualifying, opted to hit the road fifth, a middle-ground decision which seemed to pay off as the 2012 Drivers’ Championship winner took first in Stage 1 and second in Stage 2. Teammate Hirvonen, coming off of a fourth-place Free Practice and fifth in Qualifying, followed Loeb onto the gravel of Terranova, reversing their fortunes with second in Stage 1 and first in Stage 2. In a result never before seen (by those who are experiencing the WRC – or life – for the first time), Loeb ended the day in first, with Hirvonen right behind him (in second). Always a bridesmaid,…(all together, now)…never a bride.
Coming in third in Stage 1 and third in Stage 2 (in the dark, sans auxiliary lighting) was Jerry Matt’s equally Nordic Ford teammate, Petter Solberg (NOR/co-driver Chris Patterson-GBR), who had to have experienced the shock of a lifetime when he ended the day in…third. Behind Solberg, an intriguing battle for fourth had (already) broken out amongst Qatar stand-in Thierry Neuville (BEL/co-driver Nicolas Gilsoul-BEL), Adapta representative Mads Østberg (NOR/co-driver Jonas Andersson-SWE), Jerry Matt, and M-Sport mattress sports enthusiast Evgeny Novikov (RUS/co-driver Ilka Minor-AUT). All of whom came out of the first two stages, standing in the order in which they were listed. Physically. (Odd.)
Further down the standings, the Volkwagen boys were at it again. Stage 1 (of their personal battle) went to Sébastien Ogier (FRA/co-driver Julien Ingrassia-FRA), who came in 11th, with Andreas “Thor is borrowing my hammer” Mikkelsen (NOR/co-driver Ola Fløene-NOR) tailgating in 12th. A puncture picked up by Ogier’s Škoda Fabia S2000 during Stage 2 sparked a role-reversal, putting Mikkelsen in 11th, with determined stalker Ogier right behind him (in 12th). And, as the final cars pushed through the dark roads of Terranova redux, that is where they would end the day. Just another day in the office for the VW WRC prep team.
So, that was Day 1 of Rally Italia Sardegna 2012.
By the way, did anyone else notice that the cars went through Argentina?
Weird.
Well, that should clear up some questions regarding terrain comparisons, eh?
FREE PRACTICE – OVERALL
(From Citroën Racing on Twitter)
Sébastien Loeb (FRA) / Daniel Elena (MCO) – Citroën Total WRT
Chris Atkinson (AUS) / Stéphane Prevot (BEL) – WRC Team MINI Portugal
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
QUALIFYING STAGE / TELTI / 3.75KM
(From Citroën Racing on Twitter)
Jari-Matti Latvala (FIN) / Miikka Anttila (FIN) – Ford WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Sébastien Loeb (FRA) / Daniel Elena (MCO) – Citroën Total WRT
Evgeny Novikov (RUS) / Ilka Minor (AUT) – M-Sport Ford WRT
DAY 1 RESULTS BY STAGE
(From the World Rally Championship Official Site)
Sébastien Loeb (FRA) / Daniel Elena (MCO) – Citroën Total WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Mads Østberg (NOR) / Jonas Andersson (SWE) – Adapta WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Sébastien Loeb (FRA) / Daniel Elena (MCO) – Citroën Total WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Thierry Neuville (BEL) / Nicolas Gilsoul (BEL) – Qatar WRT
Sébastien Loeb (FRA) / Daniel Elena (MCO) – Citroën Total WRT
Mikko Hirvonen (FIN) / Jarmo Lehtinen (FIN) – Citroën Total WRT
Petter Solberg (NOR) / Chris Patterson (GBR) – Ford WRT
Thierry Neuville (BEL) / Nicolas Gilsoul (BEL) – Qatar WRT
. . . . . . .
For details on the 2012 Rally Italia Sardegna (18.10.2012-21.10.2012)…
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Site / WRC Official Site – Rally Italia Sardegna
Rally Italia Sardegna Official Facebook Page / Rally Italia Sardegna on Twitter
-hitchcockblonde
★ c + g s ★ 